The Flower Among the Flames

Chapter 18

There was an awkward silence between Zhao Meng and Seulgi on their way back to the "cell." Neither felt the will to speak, both affected by what Zhu caused. Zhao Meng stared at Seulgi's back, trying to formulate some words in her mind. She didn't care what Zhu had ordered her to do. The temptation of talking to Seulgi outweighed her desire to obey the General's order. She wanted to explain to Seulgi that she had no part in Zhu's little strategy. That he can still trust her. But will he believe me? She tentatively reached out a hand and tapped the man's shoulder, trying to garner his attention.

Seulgi shrugged her off, stiffening towards her touch. She felt as though a cold knife had run through her heart. She only wanted to talk to him– to comfort him. But the man would have none of that. Seulgi was too ingrained in his thoughts to accept comforting words. He needed privacy, in both mind and social interaction. Seulgi did feel some guilt in his negative reaction towards her attempt to talk to him, but at the same time, Zhao Meng's presence did not help him either. So much doubt and emotion spun around in his mind. All of it concerned her and his investigations. Zhu's little jab earlier was just fuel to the flame.

Seulgi hated to admit it, but what if Belefidas was right? What if she was indeed the culprit he was sent to catch? Did she know of his investigation and this whole time tried to seduce him, to prevent him from emotionally accepting a possible reality? His mind was being torn into two, splitting between morality and emotion. But which was right? What was emotion and which one was morality?

Then there was that cloaked figure. Seulgi could not quite put his finger on it, but there was definitely something odd about him. It was as if his emotions were going out of control just from the stare alone. Perhaps it was his imagination?

"Seulgi," Zhao Meng began, trying to gain his attention once more. Fearing that his voice would fail him, Seulgi grunted in reply.

"Are you okay?"

Am I okay? What do you think? He thought bitterly. Although it was a silly question, he knew that she was trying to be sincere. Then doubt hit him. Or was she just faking it?

"About what he said back there." Zhao Meng took in a deep breath, expecting an angry remark to her words. There was none. She didn't know whether to take this as good or bad. Bad, she assumed.

"Don't let his words get to you," She continued. "He tends to be like that..."

"Should you really be saying that about your commanding officer?" Seulgi grumbled a question. "That's insubordination, if I ever had to describe it."

"True." Zhao Meng nodded. "But all the same, don't let them affect you."

"What makes you think they are?" Seulgi scowled, turning his face and giving her a sidelong stare.

"Your reaction just now." She shrugged her shoulders, her voice soft. "That and you'd have to be some sort of nut for them not to be able to toy with your emotions. Even the tamest of people can fall into the darkest of thoughts."

Seulgi scoffed, "And you know this of me?"

"Well, I assume–"

"That's right," He snapped. "You just assumed that I am angry. Well, your concern was ill placed. I am not mulling over his words, thank you very much."

Who was she to try to counsel him? His enemy and prime suspect of imperial murder? Whatever closeness he felt with her was beginning to slip away, replacing itself with anger and bitterness. He was a fool. Seulgi cursed himself. But she would not let him slip away. Her voice like a rope that was tethered to his soul, pulling him away from his isolative thoughts.