Scriptures of my heart

@Rainbow

When you told me with such a big smile on your face, I was prepared to laugh. Ha ha, you got me. I was waiting for the "April fool's" part to leave your lips. But I didn't get any.
Now, that was almost two whole days ago and I'm still processing this whole thing. Because that's what it is. A thing.

You don't want any acknowledgment towards it saying "Knowing just makes it real" well what do you expect me to do?

Did you forget the plans we have? The ones right at the end this damn year!? The ones of me and you, the ones with you? The ones with all of us. Maybe I'm being selfish here, making it seem all about me. But I can't help but think did you even think about me?

I wasn't the first person you told and frankly I got over that, because I was more then happy you told me.

But you would've never done that, have I not seen that you lost, your appetite, your go lucky laugh and physically, your weight. Maybe you thought it was for the best, or maybe you didn't want to have anything holding you back when you leave; yet I know I'm not god but I can't just let you go, I can't just set you free, and worst of all I don't think I can just move on.

You may not be my sister but your one of my bestfriends, I fucken love you.

Tas and your brother don't know, neither does your mother. Why? Maybe you see yourself as a burden to them once they find out? Maybe you can't stand the look on their face when they find out? Or maybe you not ready to see your mother shed those tears for you?

But with this, you don't want chemo, you don't want to loose your memory with us. And I fucken get that but there's no maybe with this.

You have a brain tumour.

And I rather be there to help you remember us, piece by piece, then not have you there at ALL.