what could have been

His mouth was hot. Or maybe it wasn't, all she knew was there was fire everywhere his mouth touched her skin. He was on top of her now, his breathing heavy, his body pressed tightly against hers. He was still in a t-shirt and pajama pants, she was still in a hoodie and shorts. But his hands slid underneath onto her bare waist, slightly cooler on her hot skin.
~~~
He was in town for his friend's birthday, they went to different colleges, and he needed a place to stay. Her roommate was out of town for the weekend so she really had no excuse.

He'd gone out earlier in the evening and was just the slightest bit drunk when she'd brought him back to her dorm room. He'd clumsily put on pajamas and climbed into her bed, while she took her roommate's for the night.
So they'd talked across the room until he was sober. They talked about a lot of things, a good percentage of them baseball-related, as that was how they'd become friends in the first place. They talked about family, college, the usual stuff, and then she'd looked at him and said
"Tell me something no one else knows." And their conversation got deeper, secret after secret shared, a lot of them a little dirtier then they'd ever gotten before.
That's how it started. She had made some self-depreciating comment about never having been kissed during a thread of conversation about relationships.
So he laughed and said he would "take one for the team."
She'd responded along the lines of "fuck you" and he immediately began to try and fix his statement.
"No, not like that," he rolled his eyes, "I'm sure I'd enjoy it, I just mean if you want your first kiss to happen, you may as well do it with someone who cares about you."
She was embarrassed, "Yeah no shit you'd enjoy it, you're a teenage boy."
He responded with a frown, "That doesn't mean anything."
She recognized her mistake, boys didn't have to be obsessed with sex, that was a stereotype and she knew it. Shame filled her up and burned in her chest, but she couldn't bring herself to take it back. She just wanted the subject to change. She knew he cared, truly, he wouldn't have listened to her troubles and complaints if he didn't. But she was scared.

It took a few hours of them talking about anything and everything before she really even began to consider it. They were different people.
His philosophy in life was as close to "yolo" as someone could get. "Do what makes you happy, live while you're alive," that kind of thing. Her philosophy in life was more along the lines of "do what makes the people around you happy and as long as people like you then you're doing okay." But he convinced her. And not in a bad way, he didn't pressure her or tease.
He just told her stories. About his first time and all the times since, and how the best ones he'd had were with friends. No strings, just fun.
She wanted to try, but she overthought everything. She always did. What if she developed feelings? They were good friends, that would screw everything up. What if he wasn't completely sober? Would she be taking advantage of him?
They got on the subject of porn, and whether or not girls masturbate. She did. A lot. He told her he liked to watch porn where the girl is eaten out, and she was surprised.
But then he started talking about how much he enjoyed eating girls out,
"When their thighs squeeze your head," he turned over on her bed and looked right at her, and she couldn't look him in the eyes. She felt her own thighs squeezing together. His head fell back against the pillow, "Well...you know you're doing it right."
That did it. She lay there and pulled her blanket over her head,
"You have to stop right now."
"Why?" he challenged.
"Because I am so horny all the time and you are not helping."
He laughed, "So get over here."
She groaned.
"Or I can just keep talking about eating girls out, and them pushing my face into—"
"SHUT UP"
"Okay, I'm sorry," he conceded.
She lay there for a minute, face still covered by the blanket. "If we do this you have to promise you're not going to laugh, or make fun of me, or ever bring it up ever again."
He didn't respond right away, "You don't have to do this at all, but of course I would never make fun of you." She moved the blanket.
"No. I want to. I really do."
He sat up, then moved to the middle of the bed and she crawled over onto the same bed and sat cross-legged across from him.
Awkward, terrified, and more than a little turned on.
She kind of expected more talking or maybe a countdown ("3, 2, 1, let's make out!") but then he kissed her. It happened so fast that she stopped thinking for a minute, just kind of sat there in shock. And when he pulled away he must have thought she regretted it because he worriedly said "Don't make it weird." But it wasn't weird. He was her friend, a really good friend too. He just happened to make her heart flutter and her pussy clench when he talked about what he'd done with girls before. And it felt so fucking good when he kissed her she wanted to do it again. So she did.
And then she was on top of him and her hand was behind his head and his hands were on her body and it was hot and fast and dear god her heart was beating out of her chest.
She could feel how red her face was but she didn't care. In that moment she felt beautiful, sexy, even. His lips moved against hers and his tongue poked out every now and again, and his hands were wandering but she liked where they were going.
They stayed like that, her on top of him and their mouths moving together for a minute or so. Then she slid off him to the side and they lay there, panting, just looking at each other. But neither of them made a move away from one another. He cleared his throat,
"So what exactly is going down?"
She blurted out, "I'm not having sex with you."
He looked at her like she was an alien.
"I know that, but what are we doing from here? Do you want to keep going? Clothes off or on?"
She wanted to keep going, but she wasn't wearing a bra under the hoodie and she didn't know if she had the balls to take it off; "I kind of want to keep it on...but you can go underneath if you want."
"Okay, do you want to switch around?"
"That's fine."
~~~
He pushed at the hoodie and began to kiss her neck, his hands gripping her body and his body pressed against her. She could feel how hard he was but he was too low and she desperately wanted to feel that hard dick against her clit.
But then he was kissing the other side of her neck and it felt so good. He moved down and pushed her hoodie up, he was kissing up her stomach, open-mouthed kisses, with tongue. There was a slightly cooler spot each time from the air hitting the wet spots. Then shit, his mouth was on her nipple. His mouth was kissing or sucking or licking or something and she could feel it sending sparks down to her pussy. "Fuck" she gasped.
He moved to her other nipple and if she wasn't wet before she was dripping now. Her nipples were hard little pebbles. One of her hands was on the back of his head, fingers laced in his hair, the other squeezing his shoulder. He was warm and his hair was dark and thick and she was very aware that he was entirely man.
He moved up and began to kiss her again, his lips were swollen and he tasted just the littlest bit like alcohol. God she could kiss him all night, his mouth was warm and full and he used it so very well.
But eventually they stopped, panting, and he pulled away. "Listen, this is good, but if I don't stop now things are going to get really uncomfortable soon, blue balls are real." She laughed under her breath, "Okay."
Then she laughed again, "Damn, I don't know why I waited so long." Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, and she tilted her head and kissed his neck.
"Thanks," she whispered.
He laughed, "Did you just say thank you?"
"Yep, that felt pretty damn good," she grinned.
.........what could have been..........
"I can make you feel even better," his eyes were on her now, dark and tempting, and was his voice deeper or was that just her? Her heart sped up, "What do you mean?"
"I mean," his hand moved down her waist to her hip, and his thumb brushed the top of her pussy, "I want to taste."
Her pussy throbbed and if he wasn't looking right at her her jaw would have dropped. Dear god. She wanted him to taste too. Her words were stuck in her throat, she couldn't say a damn thing. Please, she thought.
He mistook her shock again, "If that's too far, I'm sorry, just forget it."
His hand started to move up and she grabbed his wrist, "No, no it's not, I'm just really turned on right now and my brain turned off for a second."
She looked him in the eyes, then her eyes traveled down his face to his mouth, shit. She looked up again, "This better feel better than my fingers or you're just gonna have to let me finish it myself."
He grinned, and moved his hand to the waist-band of her shorts, "My fingers are better than yours, and you think my mouth won't be better?"
"Prove it," she whispered.
He moved down her body until his face was in between her legs.
He pulled her shorts down slowly, slowly, and — damn it! She wasn't wearing cute underwear. Not that she owned any. Had she shaved? This was a bad idea, this was a — wonderful, beautiful, absolutely gorgeous idea. His tongue was moving up her panties along her slit and she could feel it in her soul.
"Take them off," she gasped.
He laughed at her and she wanted to throttle him...but her legs were spread and he was down there and his body was warm and he was so close.
His hands were on her legs, one thumb slowly brushing back and forth, and she had never felt an ounce of romantic attraction to this boy but in that moment she loved him.
He moved forward and grasped her panties with his teeth, like something straight out of a porn movie, then pulled them down. Thank god for spring break because she was mostly shaved. Her panties were soaked, and as they pulled away a thin white line hung between them and her pussy like a trapeze at the circus.
Please god let him find that sexy and not gross.
He sucked in a breath, "Shit."
Okay, guess he does.
He pulled her panties the rest of the way down with his hands, and threw her shorts and panties off the side of the bed. "Hey!" she said in a chagrined tone. "Now I'm going to have to climb down and get them you — fuck."
He put two fingers in his mouth and then pushed them into her pussy. She was tight, most of her time with herself she just rubbed her clit until she came, she very rarely experimented with fingering, and his hands were big.
He slowly moved his fingers in and out, and she could feel how slippery she was. God, could she be any more wet?
He must've been thinking the same thing because he let out a soft chuckle, "Jesus, and I thought I was turned on."
She groaned softly when he curled his fingers inside of her. "Please," she gasped, "Please."
He spread her legs wider and then kissed down one thigh, stopping just short of her pussy, then moved to the other and did the same. Then he placed a gentle, barely-there kiss on her pussy lips, right on her clit, and she felt her whole lower body spasm.
"Fuck," she groaned, then rushed out, "you're good, I know you're good, you know you're good, just go, I don't need foreplay, I'm soaked, I just want to cum."
Her whole body was on fire, she just wanted to release. He listened to her, thank god. He began to make out with her pussy, wet opened-mouth kisses, his tongue sliding out. He began to circle her clit with his tongue, and she wanted to scream. It felt so good it almost hurt. She thought there was nothing he could possibly do that would feel better than this, and then he sucked it into his mouth and she moaned audibly. "Oh yes, oh yes."
Please let none of her hallmates hear her.
He continued to lick and suck and play with her clit, and then he moved down and started to tongue-fuck her. There was no other way to describe what he was doing, his tongue was moving in and out of her pussy and his thumb was rubbing her clit in circles.
"Yes, that's it, fuck," she moaned.
Her voice was raspy and throaty and she barely recognized it. Her fingers were threaded in his hair and she lightly held his head in between her legs.
Then he stopped and lifted his head, startling her out of her ecstasy, "I'm so sorry, but if you don't stop talking like that I'm going to cum in my pants. You're killing me."
She lifted her head slightly to look at him, "If you don't finish what you started I'm going to murder you. I don't care if you cum in your pants or in my bed or on me, just as long as I cum too."
He started to sit up, "You don't mean that."
She leveled her eyes at him, "You have two hands. Use the other one on you and when you feel it coming then aim at my tits."
He gave her half a smile, "Dominant in the bedroom, huh?"
She was too far gone, wicked thoughts danced through her mind and she acted on them, maybe he was rubbing off on her, maybe she was just really horny.
She sat up and pulled off her hoodie. She was completely naked now. "Take off everything," she said, "now."
His eyes darkened just a touch, and then he pulled his shirt over his head and his pants down, throwing them off the side of the bed. He kept his underwear.
She leaned forward, until their mouths were almost touching, and slid her hand around the back of his neck. Her breasts were nearly touching his chest. "I said everything." she whispered, low and just a little demanding.
He groaned, "Fuck, you are killing me. There is no way you've never done anything before. You're so fucking sexy."
Her confidence was boosted, which is probably the only reason she had the balls for what she did next. She reached in between them and felt his hard dick underneath his boxers.
Then she slowly rubbed up his length and back down. He pulled in a shaky breath, "shit."
She maneuvered them both so that she was on his side and then pushed him backwards toward the pillow, then got in between his legs.
Reaching for his waistband she softly said, "Everything."
She pulled down his boxers and threw them over the side of the bed. His dick stood straight up, and while it wasn't incredibly long, it was thick and didn't curve a bit. She couldn't stop looking at it. He was hard because of her. This boy who had plenty of experience had made out with her. Eaten her pussy, and now he was harder than was probably healthy.
She wanted to make him even harder. She wanted to make him cum. So instead of just sucking it like she had originally planned to, she leaned forward and pushed her tits together. Then slowly slipped his dick in between them until it touched her mouth.
She gave the head a tiny lick, and it pulsed, oozing precum. Then she rubbed it in between her tits, up and down, up and down, giving the tip little licks and kisses each time it came up. His head was thrown back, mouth open, and he moaned continuously. She felt his dick starting to seize up and spasm. He was close. She closer her hand around him and started jerking him off, fast. She spit all over his dick so the friction wouldn't hurt. He started to sit up and she pushed him back down "Gonna...cum..." he grunted. She grinned and put the tip of his dick in her mouth while she kept rubbing. Then she felt it, his dick jumped and she tasted salty goo. She kept rubbing until it stopped and swallowed everything. He had his head thrown back and he looked absolutely wiped out. Now that just won't do. She moved her hand up his body and he opened his eyes.
"Now finish what you started." she said.
He looked at her like she was an angel. He grabbed around her torso, pulling her into him, her breasts mashed against his body as he kissed her. She was basically on his lap now, and was very aware of how close his dick was to her soaked pussy. His arms were around her, one of his hands playing with her nipple, the other gripping her ass. He pulled away after kissing the breath out of her for few minutes, "You are unbelievable. I have never been so turned on in my life. These tits," he moved down and sucked her nipple into his mouth, both hands squeezing her flesh, a quarter of her tit was in his mouth. "are life-changing." He moved up and cupped her face, his thumb brushing over her mouth, "This mouth, oh, this dirty, dirty mouth." He grinned wickedly at her, "Whatever you say, for the rest of my life, I am never gonna forget what this mouth did and said tonight."
Her heart was beating so fast she thought it might stop, but she wanted, no, needed, to come.
"I want you to make me forget, I want you to get between my legs, and make me cum so hard I can't remember your name. Can you do that? Or am I gonna have to do it myself?"
His eyes darkened, "Lay down."
There it is.
She lay down, and he was in between her legs on his knees, looking down at her. He ran his hands slowly down her body, following the curve of her waist and her hips, thumbs brushing her breasts as he went. He bent forward and put his hands on either side of her, his face above hers. "When I'm done with you the only thing you're going to remember is my name."
"Prove it."
He moved down like lightning and launched a full attack on her pussy. His fingers, his teeth, his tongue, all working together to stimulate every part of her dripping, aching pussy. She could feel it building with every thrust of his fingers, How many did he have inside her now? Every brush of his tongue against her clit, every nip by his teeth. She was so close. "Yes, yes, yes, keep going, please, for the love of god, don't stop." He didn't. She felt her legs start to stiffen, her toes start to curl, she could feel the fire in her belly and it was so hard and fast and high and "YESSSS," she groaned. She felt her pussy gushing juices and her body quaked. He kept licking through her orgasm and the aftershocks led to another one. She was pushing his head into her pussy, and she didn't even remember her hands moving to his head.
She let go and let her arms fall to the sides of her body. He lifted his head, nose and mouth shining with her juices. Then he pulled not two, not three, but four fingers out of her oozing pussy. He moved on top of her and one by one held his fingers to her mouth. She sucked three clean and moved to do the last one when he pulled it away, "Ah, ah, ah, save some for me, greedy little minx."
She wanted to make a smart comment on his nicknames sounding like something straight out of the 60's, but he licked the last finger and closed his eyes. "You taste so fucking good."
He pushed his fingers into her pussy again and she gasped, gripping his shoulder. He brought his fingers to his lips, licking the white goo from in between them. She couldn't form any smart comments, all she could manage was, "You too."
He fell off to the side of her, his elbow on the bed and his hand supporting his head while he looked at her. He had one hand tracing patterns on her hip bones, up to her breasts, around and over her nipple, up to her jaw where he stopped, and pulled her in for a soft kiss.
"Tell me how I've gone this long without kissing you." he said. "Tell me how I've gone this long arguing about baseball with you when you look like this."
He gazed at her body and then back at her face, before kissing her lightly again. "Tell me how I'm supposed to leave tomorrow when all I want to do is taste you again and again."
She didn't have an answer.
After all, this was only what could have been.