After the Fall

17: In the Midst of Battle

With the gas mask firmly against my face, I gently stepped onto the hand-cranked lift and put my hand out for Tamara to grip and climb down next to me. I ignored the pain at my temple as the strap of the mask pressed against my uncovered wound. For my plan to work, I needed to look as if I hadn't been injured and treated.

Em peered down over the lip of the hole. "Be safe."

By now, the gunfire had stopped and no activity was detected. Things had seemed to settle down, but to settle down now was eerily strange. We were in the midst of a battle, a fight that had yet to claim a victor. My nerves kicked in, causing my innards to do somersaults. I already missed the days where ogling Vince and discussing Refuge Inc. legends in the library were the highlights of my day. Compared to gunfire and gunshot wounds, my life had been pretty stress free up until yesterday. The things I had took for granted for so long had been snatched away from so many in a blink of an eye.

Now it was not just things, it was lives.

I glanced at Tamara as we descended into the darkness, past the debris from level twelve, which now rested on Eleven. No words were exchanged, but the fear in her eyes caused my heart to pitter-patter in an unusual rhythm. When I could no longer make out her facial features in the darkness, I gripped her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of confidence, hoping she would return the favor. When she responded with a double squeeze, the gesture calmed the pain that radiated my skull and the knots in my gut, as it brought attention to our intertwined fingers and the pressure of her grip.

She moved closer until our shoulders touched. "Sometimes you would look at me and gloss right over me, but other times you'd look at me like you really saw me for the first time. And in those moments, I would feel guilty for the hell I caused you. Also, you remind me why I'm really here." Her voice was just above a whisper. "To fight alongside you for what's right. That's why Vince needs you. Why I do too. Why we all do."

"I notice you every time I look your way." I turned and leaned closer so I could speak as low as possible. "You're a beautiful, determined woman, who I often admire and envy for your intelligence. I have no doubt that one day you'll find someone who'll not only see those qualities and fall in love with them, but who will love you the way you deserved to be loved." I squeezed her hand again. "I'm fully convinced the facility couldn't last long without you. You have a lot to offer."

The lift stopped at Eleven and we waited for a few short, agonizing minutes, listening to the booted footsteps that echoed below. Reaching behind me, my hand grazed the metallic handgun in the holster at my waistband.

The spotlight that had lit up the space between the hole in the wall and the short corridor that led to the ladder was no longer shining. Was is damaged in the gun battle that injured some of our fighters? Whatever the reason, it gave us the advantage of hiding in the shadows.

Tamara stepped onto the first rung of the ladder. When she went down a few steps, I followed, listening for motion around me. One foot below the other, blindly feeling for each rung to safely allow my weight onto.