Miscellaneous from my mind

Tender Affection

I love you.

Truly.

You've told me before that you love me, that you don't want me to leave, that you like who you are when your with me. But you see I don't trust very easily. I've been let down by too many friendly faces to find the truth in your softly spoken words.

You see I think deep
D
E
E
P
down your unsure wether you mean what you say. Your unsure wether your telling me the truth or a sugar coated lie. I think I compliment too much and you panic and say the first things that comes to mind;

'I love you'

'I miss you'

And I reply 'I need you'

And you brush it off with a laugh (a heckle). Like it didn't just take everything I had to say. Like you don't want to understand what I mean and wish to stay floating on the surface. Away from the lethal depth of my emotions.

You say it's to 'keep yourself safe'. So that you don't suffocate as you fall, flailing, further under. The pressure on your chest increasing as I tell you how I truly feel. And you choke, coughing and spluttering wishing you were back up on the sun kissed surface, so that you don't get trapped too far under. Too far to escape.

As you slowly drift back up to the surface you glance over your shoulder at me and for a moment I think I know how you really feel. What you really think;

'I don't love you'

'I don't miss you'

'I don't need you'

And I
S
I
N
K
further than ever before.