UNSOLVED

13

Karlie was shifting uncomfortably, fiddling with the holes in her ripped jeans. She was sitting at the opposite end of the couch from Taylor, both of them as far apart as possible so that they wouldn't accidentally touch. Taylor gulped. She was just as nervous. She felt weird having Karlie over at her place.

"So ..." Karlie started and took a deep breath. She looked up at Taylor. Taylor simply stared back, not knowing what to say.

"I've been thinking a lot."

Taylor nodded, signaling Karlie to keep talking. The tension in the room was thick, and they hadn't spoken a word to each other since Karlie had arrived. The cats were sitting on Taylor's bed, watching them. Not even Olivia had felt the need to approach the new guest in the house.

"Taylor ... I'm sorry for how I treated you. I owe you an explanation. It was awful of me to leave you there at the party, and then practically force you to visit me at my house and then not talk to you. And for kissing you again. God ... . I ... " Karlie swallowed thickly.

Taylor nodded again, not changing her facial expression. She felt too hurt to let any emotion show.

"I'm scared." Karlie's voice came out as a whisper.

Taylor perked up at the change in her tone of voice and shifted a little. She had figured as much, but hearing it from Karlie felt heavy.

"I didn't leave because I was ashamed of what we did. I really like you, too, Taylor." Karlie's voice broke. She cleared her throat.

"But I'm scared. I was scared someone could walk in on us. I was scared someone could ... you know ... out me. I'm not really out to anyone, except for my closest friends. But not to my family, or even in public. It's something ... it's a pretty delicate situation."

Karlie cleared her throat again. She looked at Taylor with wide eyes, and Taylor realized she was supposed to say something.

"I accept your apology, Karlie. But you hurt me. I'm still hurt. I felt like your dirty little secret when you left me there, and especially when you staged those pictures with Josh ..." She saw Karlie wincing at the mention of his name.

"It was a one-time thing, I promise. I don't ever want to do something like that again" she said hastily.

Taylor shrugged. "Okay. It was your decision, Karlie. But I can also understand where you're coming from. I know what it's like to be scared. I've been there. But I hope you see how much you hurt me in the process as well."

Taylor watched as Karlie thought about her words. She couldn't help but notice that she looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes, and a little skinnier than she remembered her. Taylor felt a shiver run down her spine. It was time they talked and made up.

"I'm so sorry, Taylor. I'll do anything to get back to where we were. I don't want to lose you." The sadness was evident in Karlie's voice.

Taylor moved towards Karlie ever so slightly. "I think we have a lot to talk about. I want to understand you better, Karlie. And I promise I won't keep any secrets from you in return. Then we can figure out how to go from here." She put as much determination into her voice as she could, hoping to convey a feeling of security towards Karlie. She wasn't sure if she actually felt determined and strong, but she wanted to be there for Karlie and to have her back in her life.

"Okay" Karlie simply said and inched closer towards Taylor as well so that their knees touched. Taylor shivered at the contact. She had missed it.

Karlie proceeded to tell Taylor about her situation and how she was scared to come out to her family. She was sure they would be supportive, but there was still a tiny doubt in the back of her mind about it. Her public image was even more complicated. She wasn't known for dating many men or anything, but she still had an image to uphold and a career to maintain.

"Everyone you work with is super open and supportive" Taylor argued, but Karlie still worried.

"I'm just scared. I know I will be much happier when I don't have to hide, but it doesn't make it any less scary." A tear rolled down Karlie's face. Taylor wanted to wipe it away with her thumb but wasn't sure if she was overstepping any boundaries.

Come to think of it, they would have to establish those first. She had no idea if they were on the same page.

"Well we already admitted that we like each other" Karlie said with a sad smile, "but I don't want to drag you into the mess that my life is right now."

Taylor gulped. "You want to be friends?"

"Of course I want to be your friend, Taylor. I want to be so much more too, but I just can't give you more right now, and I don't want to hurt you."

Taylor had a strong feeling that she would end up hurt no matter which direction they were going to take, but she simply nodded in response. "Okay." It came out weaker than intended.

They talked more, and Taylor told Karlie how she had come out to her family in college and the relationship she had been in at the time. She also told her how she wasn't out at Blaze except for Abigail, but how it didn't bother her anymore. It would all come in time.

Karlie stayed for over an hour. When she had to leave, Taylor felt awkward for a moment. How was she supposed to act around Karlie now? Did they shake hands? Sign a peace treaty?

They ended up hugging tightly for a long moment. Taylor felt comforted by Karlie's strong arms, and she hoped her presence did the same for Karlie too. Karlie smelled just as sweet as always, and it gave Taylor hope that maybe things wouldn't be too drastically different between them from now on.