Dork Diaries Skating Sensation (Incomplete)

Sunday, December 1.

OMG!
I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life 😭.

And this time ,it wasn't at the hands of my snobby,lip-gloss-addicted enemy, Mackenzie Hollister.

I still can't figure out why my very own sister,Brianna, would humiliate me like this.

It all started earlier this afternoon ,when I noticed my hair was greasier than a supersized order of fries .I needed either a shower or an emergency oil change. I'm so not lying.

I hadn't been in the shower more than a minute when someone started pounding on the bathroom door like a maniac. I nervously peeked out of the shower and was like,"What the....??!!

"How much longer are you going to HOG the bathroom?"Brianna yelled. "NIKKI...?!"

BAM!!BAM!!BAM!!

"Brianna,stop banging on the door! I'm in the shower!"

"But I think I left my doll in there. She and Miss Penelope were having a pool party and--"

"WHAT?! Sorry, Brianna!I do not want to hear about your poo in the potty."

"NO! I said 'POOL PARTY'! I need to come in and get my doll so l --"

"I can't open the door right now. GO AWAY!!"

"But, Nikki, l gotta use the toilet! Really bad😣😣!"

"Just use the one downstairs!"

"But my doll isn't in the bathroom downstairs!"

"Sorry,but you can't get your doll Right now! Wait until I'm done with my shower!"

Unfortunately, one minute later....

You need to open the door so you can talk on the phone!

"BAM!!BAM!!BAM!!

Did Brianna think I was stupid or something?I was not about to fall for the old open- the- bathroom-door-because-you -have -a - very -important -telephone trick.

"Sure, Brianna! Just tell 'em l don't feel like talking right now."

" Um, hello. Nikki says she doesn't want to talk right now...I don't know?Hold on ...! Nikki, the person wants to know when to call back."

BAM!! BAM!! BAM!!

" Nikki?! The person wants to know when --"

" NEVER! Tell them to call back NEVER! And they can DROP DEAD for all I care.All I want to do right now is TAKE A SHOWER!! So, please,Brianna! Just leave me alone!!"

"Um,hello. Nikki said to call her back never! And drop dead too! Uh huh. And guess why...?!

"That's when it occurred to me that just maybe someone was actually on the telephone. But WHO?I hardly ever get any telephone calls.

"Because you've got cooties that's why!"

Brianna laughed like a criminally insane clown.

I was a little bit worried because that insult sounded really ... familiar. She'd said the exact same thing to someone just yesterday. But there was no way that person would ever call me.

Suddenly,I got this really sick ,panicky feeling deep inside,and my mouth started screaming,"NOOOOOOOO!"

I grabbed a towel and scrambled out of the shower, soaking wet and completely covered with soap suds.

"Okay, Brianna!!" I whisper - shouted. "Give. Me. That. Phone. Now!"

But she just stuck her tongue out at me and continued blabbing on the phone like she was talking to a long lost friend from school."

Nikki always hogs the bathroom! My mom yells at her because she's so messy. And when she wakes up in the morning, she looks superscary. But that's because she has hairy legs and crusty eye boogers!"

I could not believe Brianna was telling all of my personal business like that. How dare she?! "Brianna! Hand over that phone or else...!"

" Say pretty please with sugar on top."

"Okay! Give me the phone, pretty please with sugar on top!"

"No! Too bad,so sad!"Then that evil little munchkin stuck her tongue out at me ( again) and continued blabbing on the phone.

"Anyway, my friend Miss Penelope sneaked some of Nikki's perfume. She loved how it smelled even though she doesn't have a nose. We sprayed it on stuff to make it smelled pretty. Like my feet, the rubbish bin in the garage and that dead squirrel in Mrs Wallabanger's backyard!"

Hijacking my phone calls was bad enough. But she's been fumigating things with my Sassy Sasha perfume as well?! I wanted to strangle her!

"Give me that phone ,you little brat!" I hissed.

But she just said," Toodles!" And took of running.

Chasing Brianna was very dangerous!.

OMG! At one point I slipped and almost slid right down the stairs and into the kitchen. That would have been a first degree rug burn for sure! OUCH! It made me cringe just thinking about it!

I finally cornered Brianna and was just about to tackle her, when she dropped the phone and ran screaming down the hall. " Help! Help! The slime mould in the shower grew arms and legs and is trying to slime me! Somebody call 911!"

I picked up the phone and tried to act coolly nonchalant, and not like I was standing there...

1. In a bath towel
2. Dripping wet
3. And covered with enough soap suds to wash a small herd of dirty llamas

I cleared my throat and answered in the cutest, most perky- sounding voice...

" Um.... Hellooo!!"

"Nikki? What's up! It's me Brandon!"

I could not believe what my ears were actually hearing. This was my very first time my crush had ever called me! I thought I was going to have a heart attack right there on the spot.

" Hi, Brandon! I'm really sorry. That was my little sister. She makes up the craziest stuff. Actually."

" No problem! So... I'm just calling to let you know I'm inviting a few friends over for my birthday in January. I was hoping you, Chloe and Zoey would come."

That's when I fainted. Okay, ALMOST fainted.

" Wow! Um, well! I, er... Can you hold on for a minute? There's something I need to do."

" Sure. Do you want me to call you back?"

" Nope. It'll only take a minute."

I carefully covered the phone with my hand and then proceeded to have a massively severe attack of RCS, also known as ... ROLLER COASTER SYNDROME.

Okay. So maybe I overreacted just a little bit.

It wasn't like Brandon was asking me out on a date or something. I wish!

Anyway, after we finished our telephone conversation, I pinched myself really hard just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. OUCH!! Yep, I was awake ! Which means Chloe, Zoey and I were invited to Brandon's party 😃!!

It's gonna be a blast! I can hardly wait!

Especially considering the fact that I'm the biggest dork at my school and I pretty much never get invited to parties.

OMG! I JUST HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE THOUGHT 😟!!!

After his conversation with Brianna, Brandon probably thinks I'm some kind of, um...

HAIRY-LEGGED...
CRUSTY- EYED...
FREAK!!!

Why would he want to hang out with me?!!

There is no way I can go to Brandon's party!

I'm going to call him back right now and tell him I can't come.

DUH! I completely forgot! I still need to finish my shower! So I'll call him afterwards.

And then I'm going to crawl into a very deep hole and.... DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT! 😞😞!