Love From Sammy (Dance Academy Fanfic)

To Kat (and her heart-shaped sunglasses)

Dear Kat,

Katrina. How can I put into words how glad I am to have the honour of knowing you? I can't, so instead I'll show you through example.  Cast your mind back to the very start of first year (how long ago that seems. Time can be so very cruel sometimes). Remember when you took Tara and I to your special spot? The one where we went swimming in the river? I didn't tell you, but back then I felt so immeasurably happy that I was being included in something, that I was being cooler than I had ever before in ,my life. I mean, you were Kat Karamakov, the girl everyone knows, and you chose me to spend time with? You never made me feel plain, though. Actually, it was everything other than plain.  I’d never had friends, not really. I’d had people to talk to in lessons, of course, but nothing like the deep friendship we have. That day marked the first day of me having a group of people who understood me more than just a face value. Keep cool, Sammy, I told myself. I didn't though- of course I didn't, because otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't like me so much. Anyway, back to the day. We all went to the river, and we swam, and it was sunny, and we were all so naive, and yet so in charge of the world. The water was freezing when you first plunged into it, but then cool as we glided through it together. I forced my eyes open underwater, and you were waving at me, surrounded by blue. That’s when I knew. It was stupid, but I felt like that small body of water was ours, and that we had conquered it just by being there and giving it life, just by laughing beside it or being calmed by the water we were giving it a reason to exist, to flow on all the way to the sea. It's funny actually, that I'm sitting here now, by the water, writing this. It hasn't changed much, but I have.I t’s so joyful to celebrate the little things. The way the moon glints on the water, the way the city hides the stars but you can still see them peeking through. Water really does calm you, because I don’t feel sacred of what’s going to happen to me, I am focusing on what is happening to me now. Even so, I want you to be here with me, but then you would find out about all my letters, and I don't want that at all because you don't deserve to be plagued with sadness. I would prefer it if you stayed looking at the same water and the same stars the way I did. It would be cliche to promise that I will be looking too, wherever I am, but still. We can hope.

I've got to remind you of another moment of that day. You and Tara had sensed a crush like a shark smells blood, and you tickled me mercilessly until I admitted it was Abigail. You made me say it out loud, and I was so glad you did, because it just highlighted how her name felt in my mouth, how I felt it connected with the inside of me, to something so big I had no idea I even felt it until I suddenly realised I had been swallowed. She drove me crazy, it was true. A true friend does that Kat, they dig to see the truth, and then when you feel like you'll die (sorry, even when I'm gone I can't help my big mouth) they just watch, and accept. You, Kat, accept. It is all anyone can ever ask of you. 

That day was the first of many others, but it is defined in my memory as the day of revelations. One of them being who I really liked. Another being that in this big scary life I was embarking on, I wasn't alone, and that I would have two sisters to guide me through. 

Take new friends to that place, Kat. Make new memories, and please don't limit it to sadness and loss because that's not what it stands for at all. It stands for companionship, and new love, and truth. It stands for being cool just because, and it stands for being just us. 

Love, from Sammy.