Sebastian~
Dalia Romanov is an infuriating, complex, walking disaster with so many walls that I wasn't sure how she didn't walk into them.
And I couldn't stop myself from trying to catch her every time she fell.
Our first conversation was a disast...
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A/N: Soundtrack for B&A was Flora Cash's You're Somebody Else. There are moments when you're writing and you hear a song that completely clicks with what's going on with your characters. This was that song. I also attached is this weeks quote image because it gives you an idea what the dessert looks like. They are stunning and frankly I wish I could have one right now. Enjoy!
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Something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it but a vital part was missing. The woman that interacted with my family—laughing at my dad's horrible jokes and accepting my mom's clingy hugs—was both who I've known and yet...not.
Her smiles were warm and bright. Only when I looked at her, really looked at her, did I notice that they were too wide. A little too perfect. The warmth a little too much. I'm being absolutely insane, right? Any other day I would agree with that analysis. Not today. Today Lia was not Lia. From our very first encounter this morning I could see part of her was missing. She said it was because she was worried about perception; because she overheard Eilis and me intensely discussing my business regarding her.
And knowing what was said, I'm not entirely surprised Lia shut down. Every minute she was gone I ran over that conversation over and over again. Tearing it apart piece by piece, word for word, to see them through her eyes. I have to say none of it put me at ease. Eils said several things that made me wince in the moment, let alone when thinking what Lia may have misunderstood while taken out of context. The problem was, I don't know which parts she heard and where she turned away.
She ran away from me this morning because of that conversation. I didn't doubt her for one second when she confessed, only my gut told me there was more. She was hiding from me, again. I couldn't help feeling like she was slipping through my fingers before I could even get a good grasp. Relief was short lived when she got back. Shorts tried, I'll give her that.
I thought last night was odd, but I figured she had a long day. She just got the beating of a lifetime and then my sister showed up earlier than we expected. It was a lot to take in. I worried that it was another symptom and I'll admit, I peeked in on her a couple of times in the night just to make sure she was still breathing. Even then I didn't panic. Not until now.
I missed my girl and for the first time in my life, I had no clue what I was supposed to do to fix whatever this was. Fear made me desperately hope it was just a side effect from her attack, rationality told me this was something else entirely. Common sense wouldn't let me live in my delusion and possible insanity. If this failed, if I failed, I'm not sure how I'll come out of this on the other side. Regardless of what I promised Eils, if she pulled away from me, whatever made me who I was would most definitely be pulled away with her.
Who Lia saw in the mirror wasn't the person she actually was. Her lens was so distorted because of her past that the final image was far from accurate. If I could just make her see that, then maybe we stood a chance. But first her mother had to go or we didn't even have the dream of a chance.
