Outlines of a Distant Past

Chapter 1 : Rain

A chill ran through the hairs on my nape rendering the outlines of a distant past I never learn to forget. This is the empty feeling that lingered whenever I hear the bombs stacattoing and exploding. I remember people decaying and blood pooling in a place I once called home. I can still hear the distant cries. I can still hear the children asking for their mommies that will never return. I can still hear hopelessness deep within the silence.

"Are you excited?" My mind was pulled instantly into the present. My mom told me lightly as I got to the door of our house. I was still in faze.
She was saying other words that I can't hear but I know what she said. We learned lip reading when we were at the shelter. Not learning that properly was a price one cannot pay.
No mom.
I'm not excited—either you are.
The air was cold and the rain is soft but it won't just stop pouring.
"Yes." I awkwardly said as I keenly smiled at the camera posited at the doorstep. She touched my shoulder and hugged me.
I should have screamed from the pain from her hug for the stitches on the sides of my stomach and jaw still ached. I still have to take medications for it for it never stopped the throbbing.
"Good luck." She smiled at me and held my hand. She patted my back and hugged me. She gave me my umbrella. It was half-drenched from being used a while ago to get morning ration.
"Oh wait." My mom hurried from her room only to get her red lipstick.
"I'm going to be late mom!" She applied the lipstick gently.
"No. You have to look great. It's your day." She hugged me tight and I felt a little stream of tears in my shoulders.
The rain is light but it hardly subsides.

In my mind, it was torture. I held onto my bag for life. I held on to the watch that I was wearing—hoping for a miracle to happen.
I walked outside and flattened out the crevices of the only white dress I own. The air was tense as I walked towards the bus terminal. I knew this day was going to be odd. The skies are all gray but based on the weather forecast it should be sunny. The pavements were dry and dusty being protected by the shade of the shed. I heard light varied unsynchronized footsteps that added to my agony. I turn to look around to found myself in a pinch—all of the other people in the streets wore white approaching public vehicles towards their fate and delving into the unknown. It was painful to see. Blood was sacrificed over a life of fake happiness.
I sat on the front seat of the bus. Near the window, I can see the whole place that was once brimming with life and love. It looked dull. Everything is lifeless. Gray buildings, gray asphalt, gray skies, and gray reflections of people in the bus window is all I can see. When I gazed at all of the people inside the bus, they were out looking outside the window, still in search for the happiness they once taken for granted.
I got off the bus and opened my umbrella while going up the grand stairs going to the Participant Hall.
I arrived at the Hall twenty-six minutes early. I gazed into my watch again and again and examined my prized possession as if it was the last time I'm going to see it. This is all that is allowed for me to carry, along with a bag to place important things. I put my umbrella in a designated place near the counter.
I place my finger in the scanner and the lady on the counter gave me a piece of paper. It read: 4aQ:F136-0001. Seat area: AF16. Room: A6.
'What a long code,' I thought to myself. I sat on the designated seat and waited for further announcements. I was not the first to enter the Hall designated for female. By this time, only six seats were vacant. I held on my bag tightly and breathed in deep as I sat on the designated chair. I saw many familiar faces and I smiled to all of them. We're not allowed to talk in the Hall.
A woman in a white coat greeted all of us.
"Good morning citizens of the Region. We welcome you to the second presiding of the biennial pairing. Now let's get started."
"4aL:F147-0001. 4aQ:F144-0001. 4aR:F144-0002. 4a... "
She started calling ten codes. The women bowed with respect and entered the designated ten rooms.
The women called out. 'Please wait for twenty to thirty minutes for the next batch.'
I muttered in my mind, 'Twenty minutes. Stranger. Marriage.'
"…4aL:F137-0001, 4aQ:F136-0001..."
The code that was designated to me was called. I'm not prepared for this.
I slowly stood up. My legs were shaking and I lined up in the side along with the other ladies. We walked towards and in front of the door.
"Please enter the room." The speakers boomed.
We all turned the knob at the same time entered the door.
The room was stone cold. A straightforward and dull hello greeted me and directed me where to sit. The presiding officer was a woman wearing a white blouse. She was smiling at me but there was sadness in her eyes. The other side of the room is separated by a cloth and she is in the middle with hands above her desk. I heard the doorknob open and I heard footsteps towards the seat adjacent to mine.
I felt nothing. My head throbs a little and a trickle of sweat escaped my forehead. The presiding officer quickly read the statement.
"4aQ:F136-0001 and 4aL:M135-0003 are citizens in this country and therefore must abide with the laws and consider this ceremony obligatory and as your lifetime responsibility. Consider the consequences of not abiding with the state. You can request for a reshuffle and consider another person to be paired to you but it would be from the lower niche. Bear in mind that we seek compatibility whether it be for your intelligence quotient, emotional quotient, heredity, and fertility."
The presiding officer unveiled the cloth.
I saw him.