luigi was sitting half naked on his green ikea couch. he stroked his mustache hairs. "hmmmm i wonder whats on tv" he said as he turned it on. he flipped through like 50 channels. "oh wait no one watches tv anymore lol, i'll just watch lele pons vidz" (luigi is a problematic fave)
suddenly his tv started switching channels on its own. "oh this shit again, fuck no" luigi tried to unplug the tv but it stayed on OOOH SPOOKY!!!! then he tried slapping it with the foot long horse dildo that he had stored in the china cabinet for """emergency purposes""". the tv went to static.
"nooooooo well at least i can scam some old person on craiglist for this maybe" luigi pondered as he went to go jack off in defeat. BUT!!! suddenly the tv came back to lyfe, and on the screen was a horrifyingly erotic closeup of professor e gadd's nose.
"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" luigi screamed
"hey son want to participate in my ghost orgy. the old lady portrait ghost (i forgot her name) is sucking my dong right now, also i bought a hotel" e gadd said while playing some fuckass beatles song on his studebaker bc everybody that lived thru the 70s knows how to play guitar, ask your mom
"NO" luigi yodeled, he pulled out his glock and shot the tv like 50 times, idk why he thought that would kill e gadd, hes a dumb twink cut him some slack
"come on luigi theres hella prostitutes and one has three nipples, its crazy, im so fucked up on crack right now that i could probably listen to a katy perry album all the way thru w/out stabbing my eardrums out with pencils (sorry fawful)" e gadd was in his room and you could see his ron jeremy shrine in the background, it was hot
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" luigi decided to take his own life, with lasers, but before he could e gadd teleported him to the Gadd Ghastly Ghost Gulag aka ghostly manor aka his house that he literally just started living in for free bc no one else wanted to live in a shitty ghost house with a spider god in the basement OOPS SPOILERS
luigi fell on the floor facefirst, "FUCK" he said but not that loudly cause he didn't want to offend his nona in heaven, rip granmama mario. he looked up and saw hella screens. half on them had random code windows system32 shit and the other half had e gadds nudes on them "oh god wtf, im horrified but also turned on what is my sexuality" luigi said immedietely trying to stab himself with whatever was nearby so that he didn't have to face his gaddsexuality
"welcome to my twisted mind ;)" e gadd said seductively, pulling a katana from his nostril. it was hooooooot, you had to be there. "oh yeah i forgot i uh released king boo again because i missed his fat cock but he escaped into my hotel and i cant go get him myself bc the sound of my dummy thicc asscheeks keeps alerting him to my location, plz linguini you have to help me".......
"yeah whatever bitch" luigi said, SUITUP SEQUENCE ENSUES
"ok luigi" gadd said, they were in the foyer or whatever its called, "king boo is a gold digging slut so he'll probably be in the bathroom giving handjobs for drug money, go gettim feller" then he smacked luigis ass and the energy radiating from the impact leveled the ground around them for 300 miles.
luigi went into the hotel with the polturgust 69, "gee i hope she made lotsa spaghetti" he remarked, examining some marble thingamajig, hotels have those right, DUMBWAITERZ>>>
suddenly there was a horrible noise, "MARIOOO, Oh wait you're not mario you're his faggot brother" Homophobic Toad said, YES toad is homophobic miyamoto literally told me this "why are you here you stupid cunt, shouldn't you be off getting aids or something"
luigi said FUCK homophobic lives and pulled a massive 30 foot scythe out of his rectum and slashed toad into 69 pieces and then he slashed those 69 pieces in 69 more pieces and then he slashed those 69 pieces in 69 more pieces and the"LUIGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" it was polterpup "WATCH ME TAKE THIS SHIT, also no portrait ghosts cuz nintendo is stupid"
then a bunch of missions happend and luigi made it to the top floor, where the Ultimate Bathroom was located, he opened the door and went in, and saw a horrible scene...it was king boo, he was wearing a nightmare b4 christmas hoodie and he was holding...e gadd..."WHAT IN THE NAME OF DON QUIXOTE IS TRANSPIRIING IN THIS LOCATION" luigi cried, literally, tears were streaming down his face
"gett OUT" king boo screamed, throwing his hentai sketchbook at luigi, it slashed his face. "cant i listen to halsey in freaking peace!!!!!111!!!1!!"
"NO" luigi pulled out another gun and started shooting king boo but it obviously didn't work bc king boo is already dead and the bullets just went through him "luigi stop being dramatic we can solve this like men" e gadd said
"you're right" king boo and luigi said at the same time, then something sexy happened that i cannot disclose because nintendo will probably track me down and flay my bullet riddled carcass, just know that it involved hand lotion and a whole lot of feet, but after it was over...
"wait what the fuck did this have to do with a hotel again" luigi asked, then mario came in "uhh YEAh im in this game for some reason, YAHoo," he did a little jig, then slipped and broken his back, he was paralyzed instantly.
king boo was like "nooOOOooooOOOOoooOOOO my skinny queen", he was so distraught his winged eyeliner was streaming down his face and then he PULLED OUT A GUN AND SHOT HIMSELF!!! BUT IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE KING BOO IS ALREADY DEAD!!!
luigi and e gadd were watching this, trying to ignore mario doing the twisted family guy on the ground pose as he choked on his own vomit, it was rly awkward. "loogi have have a confession to make..." gadd said, picking his nose scientifically, "i am still a virgin"
"that is really not a surprising fact" luigi said which is really true because e gadd literally spends his time wanking to ghosts and listening to death grips he literally spent hIS WHOLE LIFE DOING THis and maybe if he actually went outside and talked to girls he could have gotten laid before his 80th birthday. he invents so much useless shit that no one cares about, seriously what the fuck is a coin suckage apparatus, he used that in mario party 6, he also made all those shit minigames from mario party advance, yes that game exists sorry to remind you of them, but then he just invented a time machine, which was cool except it brought purple shroom nazis to the mushroom kingdom, but that's a story for another day... "yeah its not idk why i told you this, LUGI YOU SAVED THE DAY...YaAAAAAAYAaaAaaAAA.." e gadd said, sex isn't everything,sometimes you just need friends and a whole lot of anime porn to help keep your spirits high.
king boo aka xxSceneKid_JackSkellington69xx gave up trying to blow his brains out and they all agreed to go out to dennys and try to pick up some grills, it didn't work but they did get some sick matching tramp stamps. then they died in a nuclear explosion.
el fin
