I lay on my bed in a tank top and shorts, flicking my legs back and forth while watching an Instagram video. I hadn't spoken to Elmo in a while, which kind of bummed me. He had still been posting though, but it felt like he was ignoring me.
I thought maybe it was because he got bored of me. It wouldn't surprise me, I wasn't very interesting.
He had just posted a picture, sat in his gaming chair with his hood up. He looked extremely cute.
"Cutie!" I commented on cautiously. I saw that he had liked it but not replied. Most of the time, he replied. So this was truly odd.
I scanned my eyes down the comments and he was regularly replying to people, even other fan accounts.
What was going on? I went to text and messaged him.
Hey, you good? We haven't spoke for a bit, just checking up on you.
I bit my nail, anxious. I didn't feel like he was inclined to reply, but I'd really appreciate it. The delivered changed to read, but kept that way. No typing, nothing.
I sighed and chucked my phone to the side. I felt like a crazy stalker.
I got up and found something I wanted to wear for the day. I decided to go for my Nike pro leggings and a tube top. I pulled them on and grabbed my phone again. I was hoping I had a message but I had nothing.
Although, I did get one interesting message, it was from Sarah.
I love your edits of my baby!! I frowned. It was a bit odd of her to message me but I replied anyway.
Thank you so much:)
You're welcome! It's good to see long time supporters of him.
Something about this felt wrong. Was she being hostile in the nicest way possible?
I liked the reply and left it, I didn't feel good talking to her like this. If she felt like I was coming for her man, I really wasn't. He wasn't even speaking to me anymore so there was no problem in that department.
-
Minutes fell into hours, then fell into days. I was really giving up on me and Elmo's friendship at this point. It was so odd, we had gotten so close over the weeks we spoke but for some reason he had just left me in the dark with what was going down with him.
I rocked into class alone, Rachael probably in there already. When I had walked in, she wasn't sat where we usually were, but in the corner of the room. I couldn't sit next to her because a quiet stranger sat next to her.
I frowned but sat where we usually sat anyway.
"Hey Natalie, how's the fan account going? We found your page." A girl came up to me that I had never spoken to.
"What?" I asked, a bit confused.
"We know you know. Still fantasising over that Elmo boy? What are you, 13? You need to grow up. We're fucking 17." One of the other girls came out with nastily.
"Can you all just leave me alone? I can do what I want.." I said quietly.
"Sorry Natalie, we didn't hear that. Can you speak up?" The same girl came out with.
"I can do what I want." I said a little louder now, not a lot though. She scoffed and looked at me with utter disgust.
"You didn't get me there. I knew exactly what you said, I was just trying to figure out who the fuck you thought you were talking to."
I gulped. I hated confrontation. I was an all round confident person when it came to my looks and whatnot, but I did not like fighting or any sort of arguing.
"Got nothing to say now? Then do us a favour. Get up and fucking find a different place to sit. Slag." They all laughed at me and agreed with her.
I didn't question it, I just got up and kept my head down. But as I looked around to find a different place, there was nowhere to go. I felt the tears prickling up, I felt like I was choking.
I pulled my handle of my bag further up my shoulder and walked quickly out of the room. My eyes flashed quickly at Rachael but shes forced herself to not look at me.
I ran out of school and began walking on the gravel path, crunching underneath my feet. I wanted to cry. I suffered with social anxiety, and Rachael was my only friend I really truly trusted. She was always there for me.
I sniffled and clicked on Elmo's name, my hand trembling. I pressed the call button and let it ring out.
It stopped and his voice came through. "Natalie?" He said softly. His voice sounded a little groggy, I think he was sleeping.
"Can I please talk to you?" My voice cracked and a stray tear rolled down my cheek. I felt humiliated.
"Hey.. Are you crying?" I had never heard his voice like that, It felt so comforting. "If I said I wasn't, would you believe me?" I sobbed a little, adding a laugh.
"No. What's going on?" He asked me. I sat down on a bench and wiped my tears. "My best friend didn't speak to me today and she's the only friend I have. I was ganged up on by a group of girls in my class and humiliated. It was all because I have my fan account. But it doesn't matter anymore. I should just delete your number and forget about yo-"
"Woah.. Where's all this coming from? Why would you do that?" He rushed out.
"You haven't spoken to me for weeks Elmo. You haven't even interacted on my page. You ignored my texts. Purposely. I should take the hint." I cleared my throat. It felt like I had a frog in it.
"I just feel so alone right now. And do you want to hear something funny? Your girlfriend dmed me the other week. Complimented the edits I made of her 'baby'. She clearly does have a problem with me." I thought about it carefully.
"Nat, listen-"
"Oh my god. That's the reason why you haven't been speaking to me isn't it? She doesn't like me! And yet again i'm hated for doing nothing wrong. I'm so fucking stupid. I've got to go." I ended the call and put my head in my hands.
What did I just do? I just ignored and butted in on the one person I care the most about and I probably just screwed any chance of being his friend.
-
