Misery's Rhapsody

XI

Ben lasted a month without Joe by his side and what a strange month it was. He went to an actual doctor to get his leg checked. The doctor was impressed by how much care had gone into it, stating that the person who worked on Ben went to extra lengths to make his leg healed properly.

When asked who it was he saw, he mentioned that it was just a doctor at the hospital. He didn't get their name.

They were impressed nonetheless and explained that with the boot, he'd heal in no time. He told him to take regular drug store pain killers if he was uncomfortable. Ben was no way addicted, but he missed the injections Joe used to give him, allowing him to feel nothing.

Ben tried to tell himself that the pain he felt was just a reminder of what he survived. That he was able to outsmart the madman escape with his life. Ben was certainly one way or another, Joe would have been the death of him.

And yet he couldn't stop the emptiness that he felt. He knew it was wrong. Joe was a monster who hurt so many people, whether it was physically or emotionally. He was abusive and took advantage of Ben. He shouldn't be thought of in a good light.

And yet Ben found himself lying in bed, nearly missing the man as he tried to sleep. Ben was back to being on his own, back to caring for himself. No longer did he have any more to care for him. To fight for him and make him feel good. No one to hold him as he slept.

Ben had been so lonely for so long that he didn't even realize just how lonely until he was back on his own.

He was used to selling himself. To turn himself into exactly what somebody else wanted. He knew he looked good and knew he could play the part that they wanted him to play. He had been doing it for so long he had nearly forgotten what it was like to just be himself.

And in some twisted sense, that's exactly who he was when he was with Joe. He could be angry and pissed, but Joe still showed him as much kindness as ever. Ben tried to convince himself that it was all in his head. That Joe was insane and that getting away was for the best.

That woman, Ben never got her name, saw through the mask that Ben had put on. She was more perceptive than the copper-haired man gave her credit for. She sent the police there and Ben did what he had to do. He kept Joe from getting arrested, kept him from harm because Ben knew if things went down south, it wouldn't be good for anybody involved.

He had left and things were better now. Or at least that was what Ben had been trying to convince himself as the days went on.

His profile was gone and all he had now was the role that Joe helped him to land but even that wasn't enough. He had gone to rehearsal, finding that the role was more than he first anticipated. The director pulled him aside, telling Ben that he seemed to be lacking.

"The drive you had when you first walked through the door. Passion. It's gone, Ben. If you want this role, this part, find that drive once more."

How was Ben supposed to tell this man that the drive he had was his ache to survive? That Joe had constantly kept him on his toes and kept him in check? Ben never knew if Joe would kill again. Or more so, he would never know if he was going to kill him next.

Joe swore he loved him endlessly but did that also mean he would be the one of ending him? Ben never really knew if that was a possibility. In the darkness, he found himself searching for that love. That needy passion that Joe brought out in him.

Was the sex really worth the looming doom that he could perhaps one day find someone else? Ben didn't know anymore. He felt like he didn't know anything anymore.

As he sat alone in his home, which didn't even feel like his home anymore, Ben went over everything he had lost. Everything Joe had taken from him.

Even with his freedom, he still felt the weight that Joe carried over him. He thought over time he would shake from it, but the longer he stayed away, the more he realized the effect was real. Joe would always have a piece of Ben and the blond realized it was time he got a piece of Joe.

He didn't know how he found it. Maybe it was muscle memory or maybe he always knew where to go. He walked up the stairs, finding the all too familiar door staring right back at him. In his hand was a bat of his own, purchased just for the occasion.

He knocked once, and then again. He waited, thinking nobody would answer. He hadn't heard from Joe in so long, who knew if the man was even still alive.

When he opened the door, the hazel eyes that haunted Ben's dreams opened wide with surprise. "Ben." How breathed in shock.

"Hey buddy," Ben replied and with a swift hit with the bat, he knocked the man unconscious.

</3

Joe did think of killing himself. Of ending it all. What kind of life would he be living without the love of his life by his side? It wasn't worth it anymore. He was worse off than he had at the beginning of his story. Sad and alone with a broken heart.

He thought of it constantly. Of taking all the morphine pills he stole and swallowing them down. Of letting his body rot in his apartment before anybody even noticed. It would be an okay fate.

But something told him to wait, to hold on. The false hope that he clung to endlessly, that his Benny would return to him. He waited a day in and day out for it to happen and when it finally did, he could barely believe his eyes. Perhaps he was dreaming. The angel of a man returning to his side, returning so they could be together.

The pain in his head didn't matter. He didn't even care about it. When he woke, he was face to face with his ceiling. Lying back on his bed, he found his arms and legs tied to his bedpost, perfectly mirroring how he had Ben set up after their first date.

Except for this time, the roles were reversed and his clothing was gone.

Ben was standing at the edge of the bed, his expression twisted every which way. "Ben," Joe breathed out, trying to reach for him.

"I tried to forget you, but I couldn't," Ben told him darkly. "I tried to move on, but it was impossible. You infected my mind, Joseph."

"You missed me," Joe replied, leaning up slightly. "I've missed you so much, Ben."

"I almost lost my role. They said I lost my drive and if I didn't get it back, I would be replaced." Ben moved closer, crawling onto the bed. He straddled Joe carefully, and only now did Joe realize Ben was just as naked as he was. "You awakened something inside of me, Joe. Something I can no longer deny."

Joe felt it too. The undying need to be with this man. He knew it was dangerous. Maybe they'd both be the end to each other. When Ben smiled to him, it was one filled with hate and disdain, but also one full of love and acceptance.

They were together again. And as Ben leaned in, Joe struggled to meet him the rest of the way, to finally kiss him after so, so long.

"I'm in charge now, Joseph." He told him quietly, his eyes wide as his hand wrapped around his hardening cock. "My turn."