Instlife log: Else who matters in the world?

32 Years Old - 2184 You feel strange, but you think nothing of it.

32 Years Old - 2184
You feel strange, but you think nothing of it.

I have this weird feeling, oh well, it won't matter.

I have to go home, my partner is waiting, I'm a lesbian but I don't actually agree with the lifestyle. I dated her to get back at my dad. He kicked me out at a very young age, I was adopted, btw. So did my adopted mom, she made him do it. Mom was never interested in me but she adopted me.
I wasn't treated with respect, I was abused.
Not by him- My mother, my real one.

I hate my life and I hate my girlfriend, she's so annoying.

When I get home, Natalia is there, what a surprise.

I hated her ever since we met, she sickens me and I know why, I don't like her. She slept with my best friend, he's a guy. She bi, she said she wouldn't do it but she lied, if she hadn't cheated, I wouldn't hate her so much.

She hits me too, I never tell her that hate her because she's abusive. I regret dating her.

Everyone thinks she and I are in love, I know what it really is, she's my revenge and I'm her sex.

I get mad, I feel used by her.
I cannot leave, though.

I don't know how.

I walk past her in this awkward motion, she just looks at me In Disgust.

I go to my room, and text Michal.

He's so sweet, I don't like him. Not like I should, or how I feel I should.

I'm hetero-romantic, I love him.

We've been on and off, tho.

He didn't like I was with Natalia, I didn't know why.

He said it was wrong in three ways, no, four, I think.
"#1: You Don't love her. #2: You're using her. #3: It's wrong to be gay. #4: She's abusive. #5: She cheated on you. #6: You're cheating on her. #7: She's using you for sex, #8: You use her for vengeance #9: You hate her. #10: She makes you sick. #11: You regret actually dating her." Michal says.
"I agree, but I believe that I'm justified, ok?" I say on the phone, my gf is out.

"If she beats you, why don't you just go to the store and not come back?" He asks.

"Um...I never thought of that..." I say, nervously.

"Why are you in this sinful relationship, that only causes you pain and harm." He asks me, he was actually saying this as if I wanted to be here.

"I understand, it's wrong, I'm in pain, but I wanna get back at my parents, or I wanted to."

"This is ruining your life! How can you be do stupid?!" He yells at me, like it's my fault.

"I'll break up with her, now." I say with false confidence.

"Your lying." He says, "I will. I'm not stupid."

I hung up and got out of bed, she was home. I told her that I wasn't into this kind of relationship, that I like my life the way it is.....without her in it.