Orcinus's One-Shots! *Whoo*

Apocalypse State of Mind

I have writer's block so I thought I'd write this. Have fun reading :3

C:C:

'Where can I bury all of my suffering?'

The question echoes in the emptiness of my mind, a throb in my head as it does so. Mist coils around my ankles, clawing at them as if in desperation. I don't do anything for them. They deserve to be there in suffering. Everyone must suffer the casualties of their poison and pride. I just happen to be the bringer of those casualties.

They don't seem to understand that though. Don't seem to understand that there is a line. A line that when crossed means losing everything. And no matter how much wishful thinking you may have, giving it all away just to say you tried doesn't make matters better.

A cold wind blows against my back, pushing strands of hair against my neck and face. It's cold here...but I have nothing better to do. They'll be summoning me soon, but I still have time to kill before the true soul saving begins.

Sometimes I stay up late and think why I dared to think I could be something greater. Someone greater. My race is a powerful one...but when one thinks about it we are no more powerful than everyone else. Unlike some, I am unable to fly away into the sky. But people still hold my kind of such a high pedestal. The promises I've made seem so weak now. That nothing would fill the space between you and I? The wishful thinking of a child...but one that hurt far more than I would ever want to admit.

I've felt this world grow so much colder. Not only in temperature, but in the air among my people. We used to be such a lively place. Yes, I was younger, but the memories of better times are still vivid within my mind. But as the years have passed, we have drifted apart over time, and that equality we once shared with the rest of the kingdom has since fallen. Abilities have become the display for power among these creatures and so many are trodden down by. Sometimes, I want to be living in the past...instead of the apocalypse state of mind that is our new rulers.

I make a sharp turn on my heel and start marching through the mist. It clings to my clothing, trying to keep me here. I can hear their wails of agony and wishes for me to stay and help them. But how can I? Where in this world can I find a remedy for all of this destruction? Nowhere. In this world, there is no cure for my pain, no rest for my eyes. My people have become like zombies, walking around with nothing better to do with their lives. They may say they're happy, may say that everything is to their liking, but I can see through their lies.

"Pray," they will say, "pray that our lives will change. That by God's will He will restore glory upon our land."

But why should I pray when nothing means anything?! This world has already fallen. What once was beautiful is now dead. The souls now travel among us in tired confusion. They need help, need saving. But they're here because of that family. Because they would not care for them. They're here because they went for desperate actions and fell at our hands. Yet we are seen as the bad guys and more and more we are attacked. I cannot let this continue, I must do something. I must break my people from this cage. A cage that not even God would devise for He is too good they say. But I have seen what has become of it and I believe that there is no hope.

I look down at that mist, still clawing at my body. Now can you hear the sounds of the coming melody? When we'll finally win? It was because of them your souls have become separate. It is because of them that you must drift about like nothing. But I'm going to fix it. Going to make it better. I'll show all of them what a mess of a world they have made mine. I'll make them feel pain for it.

I'll play a tune of upcoming victory, to soften the hearts of the hurting and break the ones of pride. I can see their horrified faces as they see the mistake they have made. They'll run for their lives but I will find them. They'll beg for forgiveness, but I will not heed. This is their time to suffer.

We'll finally be able to move past all of those painful memories. No matter crying behind closed doors, no more having to wonder if today will be our last. It'll finally all be over. Those lapses of faith will finally come to fruition. Freedom will be given to this kingdom of inhabitants and I will be the one to lead them to it.

It is time that I impart their savior. I, along with all who shall follow me, will break these bonds that we have been bound by. Together, we will go to places beyond our biosphere, to see what it is that has been withheld from us. Together, we will show them why we are powerful. Why we are strong. Why their actions have lead to this day.

Into the unknown, we shall go if we must. Where we could reside if the time calls for it. But it will all be temporary before the true enemy strikes. We will go in, armed for battle and we will not leave any survivors. If one follows the royal family and its morals they are an instant enemy to our cause and will suffer for it.

My thoughts leave me momentarily to instead remind me of a time I would hope to rid from my mind. I see a young lady, one who could not have been older than me at the time, smiling at me with that sweet smile. She looks at me so happy, her eyes shining and her teeth glistening white. But there's a sadness in those pretty eyes of hers. As if she knows something I do not. I wanted to talk to her, to comfort her, but nothing would work. The girl takes my hand, wrapping her soft fingers around mine. She stares directly into my eyes and I into hers. We were locked there, standing out in what was one of the beginning days of the red season.

With shaking voice, she stares up into my eyes and says to me, "Find me in winter, when all the paths are clear."

Her eyes are glistening from the tears and I pull up my hand to wipe away those tears but she pulls away. The water begins to cascade her face in waterfalls no matter how hard she tries to stifle them. She turns away from me and hurries to the car where a man is standing there waiting. My eyes lock with his for a brief moment and I feel chills fall down my spine. He climbs in after the girl, pulling the door closed behind him. I never saw that girl again...

I force the memory from my mind. I didn't want to remember her. But the world seemed to be against me today. The mist clouded around my feet and making it harder for me to see. Memories began to flash before my eyes, from papers to messengers telling stories about the family and friends we had lost in the now cities of ash.

I fell. A collection of clutter and my distracted mind bringing me to my hands and knees. I couldn't help it, I cried where I had fallen. I had been told we would heal in time. So why did it hurt? Why did I still see her face? I didn't want to see her face. She had left me. I-I hate her. I hate her so, so much!

I wipe the tears from my face and sat back on my knees. This is why I'm not allowed to dream of something greater. I don't deserve it. I didn't deserve her so why do I deserve anything else? I can't fly away into the sky no matter how much I may wish I'd be able to. Nothing would have ever gotten in between us if I had just been good enough for her. But I wasn't. I was a piece of worthless nothing. I can feel this world grow so much colder around me. It began when we had drifted apart over time. I blame this all on her. She never held true to her promise. She didn't even try.

I stand to my feet, my eyes now red from the tears that I had spilled over those who never cared. The mist now seems to understand and dissipates, making my path once more visible. I continue on my march, a renewed fire within my chest. I once again push her memory from my mind, burying her deep into my subconscious. What use is a savior, when they're living in the past with an apocalypse state of mind?