Don't Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly SEASON 1

CHAPTER 4: 07:55

Chapter 4

07:55

"... I think my whole world dies along with you..."

Hinata was sitting on the field where he had run up to hours ago. The wind was touching his hair, dancing with such an ease it made Hinata feel he might actually be able to fly. The stars were shining through the sky. As if they were holes in a dark fabric which was only there to hide Heaven.

"...I think I don't want to do this things without you either..."

Hinata has never thought about the future before. Not in a detailed way. It's always been simple. Go to nationals. Win the nationals. And then...

And then what?

The clear answer was win more of course. But...

Then what?

Find a job? That seems stupid if you're a professional volleyball player. Go to university? Again, seems useless if you're not interested in it in the first place. Travel abroad? Seems like a good idea but he can't do that forever.

Getting married?

And that's where Hinata realized what had seemed to be his biggest problem.

He could easily imagine Natsu getting married. How she'd walk through the benches of the church – people standing up to admire her, how beautiful she looked – arriving to her significant other who smiled down at her. He could easily imagine Natsu throwing the bouquet in her hand, easily imagine his mother crying – him crying, to be honest – and then Hinata, as he finally reached the end of his imagination, took a deep breath because–

He never actually realized how everyone could get married. This might have sounded stupid, he knew that – everybody knew that marriage could be done by anyone with anyone. That wasn't what caught him off guard. It was that–

Kageyama can get married too.

Hinata pulled out some blade of grass and thought, he could imagine his wedding too.

How Hinata would receive an invitation – how he'd show up late because that's how he is – how he'd watch Kageyama and the girl say the 'I do' part, which was so iconic in every movie that his mother made him watch with her.

And then the newly weds would kiss and Asahi would cry, and Tanaka would burst out laughing, and Nishinoya would hug Hinata with the biggest smile on his face, and this whole scene was only an imagination and it wasn't real but it still made Hinata feel like as if he was being crushed.

Because if Kageyama was married what would happen to Hinata?

He would have less time to practice, less time to do anything with Hinata. Maybe someday Kageyama will have kids – maybe someday he will have grandchildren.

He could easily imagine all of this but he wasn't capable of imagining himself.

And Hinata has never thought about getting married. Why would he think about that? He was way too young to think about it.

Still, he couldn't imagine himself getting married.

Couldn't imagine meeting someone important, who would be more than enough to vanish the pain from his life. Vanish how useless he felt sometimes, how invisible, how powerless and lonely to his core. Couldn't imagine meeting someone who might be the only one who could make himself feel whole. Feel happy, adored and safe. Meeting somebody who could heal his wounds to a point where they didn't bleed anymore. Meeting somebody who saw something in him, that nobody ever could before–