To Him From Me With Love

Chapter 2 (two years after)

Well, that was a major flashback chapter.

After two years, I am now a senior, 11th grader as they say, all I wanted when I was just 15 was to throw a party at my house, the other house I mean. I had this creative dream with Princess, my best friend in 9th grade to whom I shared my crazy thoughts about this thing when I reach legality.

After a year of being apart from those friends I have in Junior I felt so alone, it was my old school, but there's a lot of new faces I have to get used with everyday, but gladly I am Sean and I DON'T CARE WHO THE FUCK IS NEW IN MY SCHOOL.

11th grade had been a big break, I was in top of my class, I was elected as the Class Mayor, and I was elected twice as the Vice President of whole Senior High School Department in two different offices.

I think, that was the busiest time of my Senior school days. When I was in junior high, I joined few contests, I was chosen for journalism, sports, news and editorial but the sporty side of me won, so I picked the Sports Writing.

Before that I competed to Festival of Talents 2016 to 2017, actually it was by group, a musical play for cultural diversities. One of my biggest breaks in my whole life for sure, reaching Nationals for the first time feels like winning all along, even made people think I'm a Beauty Queen with how I look that time, no doubts (I am a beautiful creature God created hahahhaha jinx!)

I was academically stable during first semester, it was heaven because I was able to prove myself that I can do better this time, I can work hard and aim high and I can walk the talk but, another problem broke me.

Financial Problem.

I needed a friend, even just one to just, you know calm my nerves to just tell me I'll be okay but I heard no one from my so called "school friends" I was mistaken.

The struggle doesn't stopped there, I was reaching my friends from other schools then I got no answer, I understand how things will change when we part ways, I know that so well, and gladly they make it up to me.

I don't understand how I should react, but still I can manage.

Little do they know, I was in total sadness for being away with my bffs plus the Fi-Prob I am facing that time makes me feel useless to be in that school with those perfect performance and attendance, it made me exert a less effort.

My parents supports me with my other stuffs and two of my lola were the ones who assured me financially with these kind of matter.

*IT'S A LONG STORY*

okay so to cut it out, I was enrolled for the second sem by the help of my beloved teachers who knew how much I could give more than skipping class or what.

My old teachers are the best, for sure. Even when I'm not around they could defend my name and would still be proud of me for being just simply a smart, kind, talented and loving student. I see no problem with that dealing everyday but brave ones sometimes aren't strong enough to fight back for another damage when they have full of loads to carry for themselves.

It pains me how new people came running and kept on taking away things I keep just to save themselves and doesn't even bother to help me out with things I am surely frustrated with.

How can I forget this...

*A CONVO I HAVE WITH A FORMER FRIEND? OR STILL A FRIEND? BUT NA I SHOULD BE KIND SO SHE'S STILL A FRIEND*

Me: Why did you distant yourself from me? why were you guys aloof with me? did I do something wrong with you guys?

Her: It's just, we observed that you're being too passive and we don't think that we could handle your troubles now or even ahead of yours.

*I STOPPED THERE, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE MY LENDING EARS*

I don't really know what to do that fucking time, I was lost when all I have to do was go to school, enjoy and be myself. I had a battle of emotional and mental breakdown and none of them knew that.

Every time my classmates would do bad things or stupid things, I would be there open arms to help and deal with the prob as their Class Mayor, when they needed a help with projects, assignments or activities, I can help, I do help. Then there's this one time, I don't wanna lie but sometimes I work for the price too, and that's another battle I lose.

I saw how those peps get into the passing line, those peps I helped and has nothing to do with me, I don't regret because what's the use of it when I was happy to helped them with things they are frustrated.

My heart was searching for my soul and I don't know where did it go, I felt so useless after that, no peps to talk without something in exchange, no one to appreciate me with things I do, everything was all nothing, everything was beyond sincerity.