Southpaw [Ethan Dolan au]

F I V E

The car ride back to his apartment is silent.

They sit on opposite ends of the back seat, both with their heads leaning against the cold window as they stare at the rushing world outside. Both have their arms crossed over their chests as their minds race with millions of thoughts.

Y/N doesn't know how to comfort him. It's always been Ethan who is the strong one. He's been taking care of her since she was in fifth grade - giving her all this love she's afraid she doesn't have the strength to return in the same copious amount. While he makes her feel like she's made from all the things that glitter, she has barely been able to let him know just how much she loves him in return. She heard what Dom said back at the bar, but she can't find a way to show him how far from the truth it is.

To Ethan, her distance leads him to believe she has finally decided she wants nothing to do with him. In his mind, where Dom's words play on repeat, he has convinced himself that she only wants to stop at his apartment to gather her things and leave him for good. The only sound during the entire ride comes from the cab driver when he clears his throat, eyes watching the bloodied and beaten man through the review mirror with hesitance. It's the same look everyone else has given him since the fight, scared and intimidated – unsure what this man is capable of and if they're the next in danger. Ethan catches him staring as he drives down the empty street to his apartment, and it only makes him feel worse, like a monster trapped in a cage that everyone ogles at with curiosity. He sighs with irritation while he hits his head against the cool glass of the window and adjusts his body to get more comfortable.

Though, nothing feels comfortable when Y/N isn't molded into his side.

She wants to say something, or reach her hand over to grab his, but it's hard to find a solution that would make any of this better. Before she can even think to come up with something, the cab driver is pulling up to the curb outside the apartment complex to let them out. Ethan doesn't even bother waiting for change when he tosses a few bills over the partition.

"Have a good night," he mumbles as he pops open the door, and slides out, slamming it behind him before trudging up the curb.

Y/N is stood on the sidewalk waiting for him, her body shivering from the cold as she keeps her arms wrapped around herself. He doesn't say anything as he approaches her, just cocks his head towards the steps in silent direction. She walks steadily in front of him, waiting for the moment where he'll put his hand on her lower back, but it never comes.

The tension continues to build while the silence remains. Apart from the sound of her heels clicking against the tile floor, and the hum of the radiator at the end of the hall, there is nothing. When they stop in front of the door, Ethan tries to reach in his pocket to fish out his keys, but he winces as his cracked knuckles scrap against the tough denim. In response, Y/N's hand shoots out to grab his wrist, stopping him before he tries to attempt it again.

'I got it," she whispers, letting her touch linger for a moment as she relishes in his warmth before letting go, and digging through her coat pocket for the spare key he gave her.

The apartment feels cold when they walk in. It's almost foreign now as she scans the room. The blanket they were snuggled under the night before while watching a movie is in a heap on the floor. The pan she used this morning to make breakfast for the both of them still sits in the sink, burnt pieces of egg sticking to the pan after Ethan had distracted her with his lips and hands. There is still a half-empty bowl of popcorn sat on the table that Ethan had been munching on while he settled in to watch the hockey game, only to be bribed with affection from the one he loved to go out tonight. Little pieces of their happy life before tonight's event stick out to remind her that everything has changed.