Jotter

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A short story

She dumped the stuff into the big trash bag, she won't need them again.

Toss! Dump! Trash!

She threw the stuff out off the shelf! She didn't want to see them anymore because they reminded her too much of her terrible past. In her fit, she flung a book to the opposite side of the room, it hit a lamp causing it to fall and shatter. She didn't mind the broken lamp, it was gonna be thrown away eventually. It was the book that caught her interest, she crawled to the book, picked it up and opened it. What she saw shocked her.

Help me! Written on nearly every page of the book, she flipped each page slowly, painfully reminiscing on her time back in 8th grade, it was sad, when she stopped on a page covered from top to bottom with various thoughts in various handwriting and ink; it was her thought page.

Written on the page were;
1. Help me.
2. I'm bored.
3. I'm tired!
4. Free me!
5. I'm having a shitty day.
6. I'm odd.
7. I'm lonely.
8. Why is school terrible?
But just at the bottom corner of the page, I'm alright, was written.

Tears dropped from her eyes, as she mouthed those words. How could she, at such a tender age, write this? More tears fell asleep she imagined little her, tears being held in as she listened to the nasty talk of those around her, instead of crying she opened her book, brought out her pen and wrote; I'm alright. How?

She was never bullied as a kid, well at least not how victims of bullying (VOB) were. She had friends and got invited to parties, she wasn't the cool kid, yeah, but she was friends with people that were friends with a cool kid. Seriously? How could she not have noticed?

The VOB had friends. They got invited to parties, they obviously weren't the cool kids, but someway they were linked to them! What difference was there between her and VOB?

Didn't those cool kids or annoying aquaintances make jabs at her? Didn't they hurt her too?

I'm alright.

The word burned. Those words! The heavy meaning behind it. She didn't say she was fine, she definitely wasn't fine if she had some seed of despair planted, but she wasn't also the opposite of fine because she still had some of her sh!t together. She was just alright.

Slowly she rose, the jotter in her hand. How could such little her reveal so much? She wasn't a VOB but she definitely was bullied! That feeling of imperfection, of disappointment and self-hate were there because of something, it wasn't just her lacking self-confidence, no, it was from all said.

She walked to the trash bag and dumped the book in it. It has done it's job. What more could she get from her 8th grade jotter?

A.N: I recently found out that I have been bullied! Can you believe it? Before some VOB reads this and disses me for making it seem like everyone is bullied and their own issues is nothing, lemme just say; BULLYING IS BAD, NO MATTER HOW LOW_KEY IT SEEMS. So pls try to be considerate with those who haven't suffered like you, it may not be as bad but it still hurts.

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