Keep Me Insane With Your Steady Heartbeat | Jackson Rathbone |

Keep Me Insane With Your Steady Heartbeat | Jackson Rathbone | 3

I awoke feeling horrible, and I didn't even know why. I supposed it was one of those days when you just feel bad and want to cry.

I looked to my left and my body visibly stopped tensing as I noticed that Sara was gone. I felt sick and I really just wanted to be left alone. I sat upright in my bed, and the action caused my head to spin. Feeling nauseous, I tripped out of bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom. As soon as the toilet came into my line of sight, my stomach lurched horridly and I immediately threw up. Thankfully, I had made it in time and I anxiously grasped at my sides as I was sick about three more times.

I grumbled to myself as I wiped my mouth, eyes, and nose. I had always hated getting sick, but thankfully after about ten minutes I felt much better, physically at least. Emotionally, I felt like a mess and I had methods of taking care of that.

I felt around for my father's letter opener and held it lightly in my hands, turning it over my fingers to examine it thoroughly. I frowned before I turned the faucet over the sink and let the warm water spill out onto my trembling hands. I rinsed off the blood that had dries on the letter opener and I turned on the faucet. I wiped the now shiny, clean letter opener off on my pajama bottoms and sat on the edge of the tub with my hands in my lap.

I didn't even know why I was so upset, I just was. I could feel frustrated tears well up in my eyes and I vigorously wiped them away with my fingertips. I sighed, giving up on my tears that refused to stop and let my hands rest on my legs again. Biting my lip, I carefully pressed the letter opener against my skin and immediately saw crimson.

I sniffled, and my tears finally ceased as another cut was made.

I sighed again, although this time in satisfaction as I hid the cool piece of metal and stared at my bleeding skin. I didn't notice that I started to cry again even as I curled up against the cold tile floor and longed for heated tiles.

I don't know how long I lay there, staring up at the ceiling with damp eyelashes as I thought of anything and everything.

There's something wrong with me.

I cleaned my wound underneath the cold water, and I put Band-Aids on them so that my new shirt wouldn't get stains on the sleeves. I ran my fingers over my face multiple times as I stared at myself in the mirror, my lips curling downwards into a frown. Wordlessly, I exited the bathroom and it was them that I realized it was about three forty-five in the afternoon.

I grabbed some new clothes, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and changed. I sighed for the third time as I blow-dried my hair and fixed it up with a headband and barrettes.

I took a deep breath as I grabbed my keys and left my dorm to head over to my bike. I decided to ride it today and it didn't take long for me to get to Mrs. Dye's.

The tiny bakery/café had very odd business hours, for lack of a better term. In reality, Jenny and or I opened the shop whenever we felt like it and stayed as long as we pleased.

Mrs. Dye was almost never there, but the money was split as promised and it was not a bad job.

I unlocked the shop and immediate took out the pies and cakes that had been made last night and Jenny had left in the fridge. I fixed up the display items and cleaned out the coffee and hot chocolate maker, and put in new water and milk.

~*~

Few people came and went; I honestly wasn't paying attention to anything around me. It took about an hour for me to realize that I hadn't changed into my uniform, but I left my normal clothes on because Jenny never showed up to complain about it.

I suddenly felt extremely sick again, and I rushed behind the counter to the employee's bathroom stall and immediately was sick. Mumbling a few curses, I wiped my mouth, nose, and eyes with a tissue and when I felt better I exited the bathroom.