Jessica Darling's It List- The (totally not) Guaranteed guide to Popularity, Prettiness & Perfection

Chapter One

What happens when EVERYTHING you know about ANYTHING is ALL WRONG?

That's what I'm about to find out.

Today is the last day of summer. Im supposed to start seventh tomorrow. I say "supposed" to start seventh grade because I don't know if I can show up for my first day so tragically unprepared for Pineville Junior High.

My sister would say otherwise. She'd argue that I'm way better off now than I was before I received her big sisterly wisdom. She promises that if I follow her must- do IT List I would t merely survive junior high- I'll thrive.

And she would know better than anyone what I takes to make it in seventh grade. Ten years ago Bethany Darling was the IT Girl at Pineville Junior High School. All the boys wanted to date her and all the girls wanted to be her. I was only a baby at the time, but I've seen the pictures and I swear her life was as perfect as a shampoo commercial

My life isn't like a shampoo commercial. But don't feel bad for me because it isn't like the educational films about bullying that we're forced to watch during Be Kind to Each Other week at school either. I have plenty of friends. And until my sister gave me the It List. my best friend, Bridget, was the one freaking out about starting junior high- not me. I guess if I had to describe myself, I'd say I'm very witty, medium pretty, and a little bit zitty. I'm not the worst off but there's definitely room for improvement.

So when Bethany surprised me this morning by taking time out of her busy social schedule to give me life changeling advice before my first say of seventh grad. I want exactly in a position to refuse. Besides, Bridget is in a state of total discombobulation about junior high. I figured I could share any valuable information that could help her, uh, recombobulate. If such a thing is even possible.

"It must be so hard to give your sister away at college during such an important part of your life," Bethany said whoa cluck of her tongue and a sympathetic shake of her head.

Despite my best efforts, my sister and I have never really been that close. That's what happens when you're born in different decades. When she was my age, I was still wresting my pants. That will put a wedge in any relationship. I've always admired my sister afar in the same sort of way Bridget looks up to certain celebrities. we see the teensiest bit of ourselves in out idols, but their lives are so glamorously out of touch with our boring reality.

"The transition from elementary school to junior high school can't w taken lightly," Bethany continued. "The choices you make during the next two years directly affect your popularity in high school, which directly affects your popularity in college, which directly affects what sorority you get into, which directly affects who you meet and who you marry, which directly affects your popularity every day thereafter until you die."

Bethany paused just long enough for the seriousness of her speech to sink in.

"Choices. So many choices"

Then she dramatically took me by the shoulders.

"So many changes to make so! many! mistakes!

I'm not exaggerating when I say a shiver shot up my spine when she said that and not just because she grabbed me so hard my back was thrown out of whack.

"And that's why I'm going to share my wisdom with you, my little sister.

Then she patted me on the head which was kind of funny because I'm already as tall as she is and she had to reach up to do it. Then, with the grave of professional game show hotness, she reached into her designer handbag and pulled out a three-by-five card. she teasingly dangled the small piece of paper in front of my grabby fingers before letting me have it.

Here! In my hands! The scared document containing all the secrets to a lifetime of awesomeness! I thought.

Until actually looked at it.

"Uh, your Pineville Junior High Cheer Team travel schedule?"

"The life-changing advice is on the back," Bethany said with a deep sigh, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

And when I did the most obvious thing in the world- flip it over to see the life-changing advice for myself- she slapped my hand away.

"Not now!"

"Ow!" I cried, rubbing my stinging wrist. "Why not now?"

"You need to take this life-changing advice all on your on. without me there to spell t our for you." She spoke sagely. "That's part of the process"

I started down at the card in my hand. What sort of life-changing advice could be only he flip side of a decade-old Pineville Junior High Cheer Team tercel schedule? How much could there possibly be to spell out? There's barely enough room to spell out G-O, J-E-S-S-I-C-A!

My sister pulled a pouty face.

"Why am I not being embarrassed with gratitude right now? Why am I not being celebrated as the most awesome big sister of all time? Why am I feeling like the recipient of this great life-changing advice does not appreciate the gift I have given her?

"Thank you, Bethany. Seriously. But..."

Bethany checked the time, already more concerned about leaving then actually being here.

"Hey has the mail arrived yet?" she asked.

And before I could say yes, she was already at the front door, elbow deep into the mailbox. She rifled through the catalogs, bills, and miscellaneous junk, sighed and then put the whole stack back.

"Are you looking for something?" I asked.

"No!" she yelped. "I mean, yes!" she relaxed and pinched my cheek. "I mean, mind your own business, Little Miss Seventh Grader!"

Bethany gets all jumpy when she's in Pineville for too long, and I could tell she was beyond eager to head back to campus before my parents even realized she was home. Bethany loves college do much taut she's taking a fifth year to graduate.

"I just can't imagine how whatever is on the back of this card is going to change my life."

Bethany tossed all her blond hair over from one shoulder to the other.

"Are you questioning my authority? I was voted Most Popular, Prettiest, and Miss Perfect in the Pineville Junior High yearbook. if I'm not an expert on such matters, them who is?

She had a point there. I followed her off the front porch, followed her down the driveway, and followed her to her boyfriend's convertible. At that moment I would've followed her anywhere. Bwtahny has that effect on people. If I follow her rules, will I have that effect on people? Is that what it means to be popular?

"Didn't you keep a diary that, I don't know, explains how...."

My sister cut me off with laughter.

"Popular girls don't keep diaries, because they're to bust be popular to write about being popular," she said, opening the car door and sliding inside. "Which is a shame because popular girl are the ones with juicy stuff worth reading"

I'd actually considered buying a diary to the document the momentous occasion that was the start if seventh grade. Bethany just saved me $1.99.

"Just follow my advice and remember who you are," Bethany said with familiar finality as she fluffed her hair in the rearview mirror. "You're a Darling."

"I'm a Darling," I repeated.

" Darlings aren't dorks!"

Then Bethan slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses and backed out of the driveway.

The irony is this: I wasn't at all worried about being a seventh-grade dork until my sister said that.