to S,
Where are you? I need you. I needed you then and I still do. You're so far away, literally, and figuratively, even more. I can't believe you would let me go through this alone. I thought we were a team. I thought I mattered in your life. I thought we would last forever.
You don't even want to text me anymore. About the little things, about the big things, the sad things, the happy things, anything. You stopped doing that. At what point did I become just a friend and not your best friend? Was it when you started dating him? You just didn't have time for me anymore?
Well let me tell you something, we make time for the things we want to make time for. And I wasn't one of them. You've made that perfectly clear. But when I asked you why, you couldn't think of a valid reason. You told me that you felt comfortable enough in our friendship that you didn't feel the need to talk to me everyday. But I was in town for almost two months and I didn't get a single text.
I was going through a rough time. You knew that. I've been going through a rough time since September. It got so much worse in December. And then on top of that, you left. You kept saying sorry and that you'd try more next time but you never did. And I stopped believing you. I got fed up with all the lies. But I still miss you terribly.
Sometimes I just wanna talk to you like before. About nothing important really. Other times I do wanna talk to you about the important stuff. But I can't.
I keep expecting that you're going to call me someday soon. I want you to miss me like I miss you. Do you? Does it keep you up at night sometimes? Does it make your heart ache with regret? Or do you really just not care anymore?
Just tell me, please.
from s
