Rida ((Rio G.G)) \REVAMPED\

:1:

Dee-Uh-Mon-Tay's P.O.V

"My past makes me who I am today. Without the things that have happened to me, good or bad, who would I be?"

It's what I tell myself every time the flashbacks come to haunt me. Never thought my life would turn out this way. Never knew I had it in me.

I killed my parents, and I feel nothing.

It was them or me. Honestly, I swear.

They weren't even my real family. They had stolen me from my real family. I had been left with nothing, no one to call my own, and it was all their fault.

Sometimes it does settle in, the technicality of it all. I killed two people just to save myself. One person, and I didn't even want to live.

Being human is such a conflicting nature. Growing up, I wanted to die, it was all I wanted, I just never had the guts to kill myself. So why didn't I just let them kill me? What in me wanted to survive so badly ? This, I will never understand.

I bet you're wondering what I did with the bodies.
I know a guy. Ronny.
Ronny knows a guy named Rio..or something like that, never met him.
He's supposedly in a "Gang" that specializes in "Tossing Out the Trash," Ronny says.

I didn't raise too much question towards it all because that was exactly what I needed. Their bodies had to be gone without a trace, and I didn't have the means to do it myself.
I hadn't realized the fact until I was sitting in a pool of blood, a saw and a machete beside me as I watched my father's small intestine slide down the wall. That was the one night where I knew what it was like to feel panicked, yet at peace at the same time.

I hadn't the slightest idea of what to do next.
I'd sat there, and sat there, waiting for something to come to me from somewhere, anywhere.

Then Ronny called me. Can you say perfect timing? He was checking in 'cause we hadn't talked since the morning before.

He'd sent me an edible arrangement as a 'happy birthday', and not the kind with the flower-shaped pineapples either.

That night, he'd graced me with a "Wassup Monté?" and I startled him with a "They're both dead."

The phone hung up so fast, and before I could blink I could hear pebbles being thrown at my window. Just like the days in high school where I had to sneak him in so we could get high.

What can I say? Having connections with criminals can get you places..other connections wouldn't.

I was once told I had the face of an angel, and that I could deceive others very easily. Boy, they should've never told me that. While being a black woman in Detroit, the most a cop would think of me as is someone's baby's mother, never "She looks like the perfect suspect for double homicide."

So my appearance is my weapon these days. Soft pastels, a bright smile, and an excruciatingly fake name.
You look the part, you fit the part.
Only God knows what lies inside.

:::::::::

"Miss. Barnsley? Can you please repeat what you witnessed into my recorder here dear and then you can go straight home, I swear it." The detective reasoned while holding my hand that rested upon the table. A reassuring smile forced on her face.

You see, I was in crybaby mode so I would be seen more as a witness, a victim even, and not a suspect. I was acting as if I was completely baffled and unable to form a sentence without breaking down.

I knew I had this in the bag the moment I walked in. One of the detectives left pictures of potential suspects out on the table, they had been too slow to put them away, and my face was nowhere to be found. I did see Ronny's though, that can't be good.

My silent weeping seemed to have gotten to her when she finally said, "You know what, how about we have you come in tomorrow. You should be more able to recall what happened in full by then. yeah? I couldn't possibly imagine what you must be going through."

I nodded my head slowly , stumbling out of my seat for the extra icing on the cake.

"Yeah, yeah I think I'll be more okay tomorrow. I-I just need time to process that's all."

The detective looked at me with such pity and rubbed my shoulder. "Well how does 4:30 sound hon? We'll have a piping hot cup of joe ready for ya and everything."

I nodded my head once more and found my exit out the building. A pleased smirk on my face as I stepped into my car.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

If you are ever in crisis please, call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, it's a free, 24-hour hotline, at 1.800.273.8255. Suicide and Suicidal thoughts are never a joke, it is never something to brush off until you feel better. Never something to feel ashamed of sharing. We are human and life is hard.

Know That You Are Loved & Cared For.

-Lynnishia (Lin-Knee-She-Uh)