Favourite Quotes and Sayings

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door

Sometimes I wonder "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" then it hits me

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory

You want security, I'll make you pay-- You want warmth, I'll burn your house down-- You want loyalty, I'm thinking how it would benefit me-- You want love, you'll fall so hard you'll break your neck

I'm the kind of girl that will burst out laughing in the dead of silence because of something that happened yesterday

I smile because I have no idea of what is going on

The spiders want me to Tap Dance, I don't want to Tap Dance

I'm the kind of girl that if Miley Cyrus was standing on the top of the Empire State Building I'd shout "Jump, Bitch, Jump"

One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

Of course I talking to myself, who else can I trust?

So I was like Avada Kedavra ... and he was like dead

I like when people smile, but when they smile as much as me, I get nervous

When I want your opinion, I'll remove the Duct Tape

When nothing goes right, go left

Adults are just kids with money

Don't follow in my foot step, I'm lost too

Caffeine made life good, but Alcohol bade it metter

I was lying in my bed last night, staring at the stars thinking to myself "Where the heck is the sealing?"

It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt, the it's hilarious

Therapy is expensive, popping bubbles is cheap, You Choose

Muffins are just ugly Cupcakes. But we love just the same

There are no stupid questions, Just stupid people

Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again

Mommy says I'm a special person no matter what the other kids say

I've discovered that I visit the state of confusion often, and I know my way around pretty well...

I didn't hit you, I just simply High Fived your face

Angry people need hugs, or sharp objects

I swear I'm gonna invent a Vaccine for stupid

Baby it's Cold Outside, well no duh, it's freaking winter

Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls

Excuse me, but I have minds to twist and values to warp

Yes I'm a little crazy, what's your point?

It's not that I am a Bitch, I just don't like you

Do not underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers

God must love stupid people, he made so many

I just realized, I don't care

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

I'm just a WHOA kind of person

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous

I'm so cool I choke on air

If it weren't for physics and Law enforcement I would be unstoppable

They say you can't turn a bad girl good, but once a good girl goes bad she's gone forever

Alcohol won't solve your problems, then again neither will milk

Don't hit kids; no seriously, they've got guns now

Don't knock on death's door; ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that!

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest

A friend would lend you her umbrella in the rain, but, a best friend would take yours and say RUN BITCH RUN

If a turtle loses his shell is he naked of homeless?

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but that gets boring so I go back to being myself