(don't) call me by my name

daddy?

san

i interally moaned when i took a bite of that heavenly croissant. chocolate in the middle, with the bread making soft crackling noises when i bit into it that were totally asmr-worthy. the flakes would gently float down onto the plate and i would pick them right back up, because momma didn't raise a wasteful boy. i paid $8.76 for a whole croissant, and i'm gonna eat a whole croissant, crumbs and all.

hyewon came up to me, taking a seat directly across from me.

"you see that cafe, across the street?"

i nodded in acknowledgment, still chewing on my orgasmic croissant.

"they're stealing all the customers from us. i need the  tips i get from 'flirting with men' who come here; and the paycheck doesn't hurt either. but just because they have animals, they're so great! so great my ass, what if the food has animal hair in it, huh? or what if it isn't even human food?"

my eyes widened throughout her rant. i hate certain animals, and they hate me right back; more viciously, if i may add. i even got scratched by my own cat! my own! luckily my mother gave it to a friend after seeing all the trouble it caused me.

so safe to say, i was upset at these animals stealing business from my coffee shop.

i quickly glanced over to see why the animal cafe was so great, and... yeah, it was. it was so aesthetically pleasing i couldn't even get mad. okay, okay, that was just the exterior, maybe the interior is shit?

as i was stealthily scoping out the competition, three men walked by. being the good member of the LGBTQ+ community i am, i took it upon myself as my duty and god-given right, to check them out.

damn...

i was never so happy to be pan as i was then. first of all, random stranger number one was wearing a  classy all-black outfit with a beret and glasses that made me seem broke... or just lacking in fashion sense. looking down at my purple sweater with english writing i didn't understand and ripped jeans, i suddenly felt self-conscious in front of a fallen angel.

moving on, random stranger number two was slightly shorter, wearing a denim jacket that looked pretty damn expensive, yet i couldn't pick out the brand. the jacket was obviously supposed to be the wow- factor,  because what was left of his outfit was seemingly lackluster compared to the jacket. he had a  short mullet to complete the look, and somehow, it made him even more handsome?

now, random stranger number three looked out of place. i'm not one to judge, but he was just wearing a purple hoodie with a sunflower across the chest, and a pair of jeans. not even skinny jeans at that! the only part of him that really stood out was his bright purple-pink hair. he was constantly glancing around, like he was afraid someone would approach him and, i don't know, punch him? he was that anxious.

he quickly glanced in my direction and ding!ding!ding!, we have a winner. he was undeniably gorgeous, so i did what any good pansexual would do, flirt. i  gave him a little smirk, and to top it all off, a wink. but to my surprise, he just looked away! no reaction!

but before i could throw a nasty glare at him, he turned around and walked into the cafe.

"hey, hyewon, i'm gonna head over to that cafe."

i hastily threw a tip on the counter and rushed out the door.

"not you too, San!"