Star-Crossed Coats

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"I don't care wait fate says

You and I were meant to be

Our love's cinematic baby

I could watch it on repeat

Tell me that you're with it

My heart can't keep a secret

I'm all in my chips are on the floor"

"Star-Crossed" - Jon Vinyl

Dean never enjoyed oatmeal anyway.

His mother and father fought over the tiniest things. Every morning before Mary went to work. The two would argue and dispute until one walked off in defeat. Sam was too young to know what was happening, as he was only an infant, but the loud voices were enough to scare him. Dean would know the exact moment to drop his breakfast and walk away.

To cope with the excessive yelling he usually covered Sammy's ears or went up with him to his nursery to shut out the noises. Sam never got frightened enough that it would lead him to cry, Dean wouldn't dare let a single tear fall. He would try to carry the record player upstairs with all his strength to turn on a nice tune to distract them or play with his soft puddle of hair until he fell asleep, but deep down inside of him, he knew it didn't do crap for them.

His mom stops waking up at the same time as the boys, he knows why. He knows his mother still lives in this house because he hears Sammy being fed and changed right before she leaves early morning. Dean's once favourite raspberry jelly sandwiches taste dull and bland in the morning when they aren't made by Mary, so he stops eating any special type of breakfast overall.

That week when Dean wakes himself early enough to say goodbye to his mom, his mom is already reversing her small, yellow truck out the driveway. Mary does catch her eye on Dean waving his small, gentle hands at her emotionlessly through the window. All she responds with is a quick glance before she's out of view.

Dean goes back to bed that same morning. When John questions him on why he stayed home that day, Dean swishes at his cereal and frowns. He tells him his tummy was hurting.

But everything was okay. For him, it became a part of his life. It was all just fine for four-year-old Dean. Just wonderful.

However, he should've seen it coming.

A few months later, Dean is woken to a crying Sam. He ignores it, assuming his mother will go to soothe him, but the crying continues to painful screams. When he goes into his nursery, Sam is covered in urine and his nightlight is still off.

With little Sam on his shoulder, he trots around the house whispering to see if anyone was there. He spots his father from the corner of the staircase, weeping and sobbing into his hands by the fridge. Sammy starts to whine with him.

"Where's Mommy?"

John gradually looks up from the counter and stares at him and Sam with a rollercoaster of reactions; confusion, sorry, and then dejection.

That was the last time he saw his father express any emotion than anger.

***

Dean doesn't go to school anymore, he has to take care of Sammy. Actually, he learns that school is something he couldn't want.

John is a little less drunk on the weekdays. He doesn't visit them a lot but comes home enough to acknowledge that Sammy is still a toddler who needs putting to sleep. John tries to keep himself together for the first weeks after her death, though he gives up after the third month, and Dean is unspokenly in charge of Sammy from there on. Sam is remarkably obedient for a one-year-old, but there are times where Sammy misses a mother's touch too.