𝓡𝓮𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 🌅 A Jameden Story

~5~ Time Skips

(This is just going to be random days of Jaiden's life without James.)
                *January 24th, 6th grade*
Lunch. My mom packed me a sandwich, olives, and a piece of chocolate. I walk over to the garbage can and see my old table. I walk over to some people who don't bully me. It's hard to find those types of people at school.
     "Do you want my lunch?" I ask.
This lunch is too many calories. I'll eat some olives and give the rest.
     One of the girls from my tennis team answers. "Sure. That's a lot of lunch. I'll take half the sandwich and you can have the rest." She says.
     I hesitate but say, "You can take the sandwich. I'm getting hot lunch anyway." I reply.
     She takes the sandwich and thanks me. It was worth it. She deserved to be happy with food anyway, unlike me.
Lunch is finished. I run to science, my next class. My stomach rumbles from lack of food, but I pushed through.
"This will help you." The voice says. "Follow me, and I will help. What makes you think eating will do any good? You don't need the energy. You don't need the entertainment. It's your fault James moved. Listen to me." The voice keeps coming out. It drowns out the others. "Listen to me, and you'll be ok. I'll help." I couldn't get it out. It kept coming to haunt me. But this is what I deserved. James leaving me, it wasn't a coincidence. Me getting bullied. I deserved it.
  *Time Skip to Dismissal*
I walk home, looking down. As I pass by the main entrance, I see the usual bullies heading towards me.
Oh gosh. What is it this time?
"Yo Jaiden! I heard your boyfriend moved! How's it like being single and a lonely asshole for 3 years and counting?"
I've gotten used to this. It happened a lot. I decided to ignore them until the main leader of the group came up. It was this boy named Alex. He was in his last year of middle school, an eighth grader. I turned around after he tapped me on the shoulder.
"Jaiden. I heard you like drawing!" He says to me. This got me intrigued.
"I do. Why do you ask?" He was being surprisingly nice, so I just played along.
"Well, I'm looking for an animator to help me draw some frames for a channel I'm creating. It's called ItsAlexClark. You wanna help?" He sounded very.. specific for what he was going for. He started explaining what it was about. It seemed a bit true, since the channel was in YouTube already.
"Sure?" I reply. I didn't know what Alex was onto, but I was willing to help and make some friends.
"HA! What makes you think I would hire a dork like you to help? You don't even seem like you can draw a rectangle without it looking like a donkey drew it." Then he just punched me and threw me onto the floor.
I was used to this. People bullied me constantly everyday. I knew what I was getting into. I got up, and said nothing. Kill them with kindness, I thought.
"Really?" The voice was back. And even louder than ever. "You seriously think you weak, pathetic, and worthless piece of crap can even attempt to change them? They'd stay the same. This is why you don't deserve food. You don't deserve anything. You deserved the life you have now. Don't be scared, I'm trying to help. Run away."
I couldn't do anything. The voice seemed right this time. I decided hightailing it home. But then, a thought came into my mind. What if I called James?
"No. He doesn't care about you. He never did. It was a lie. He didn't deserve this worthless thing of a person you currently and always was. Don't even attempt." As always, I could do nothing but listen.
I ran away, to my house. It wasn't like my parents could protect me. I was old enough to know. Parents aren't the first way to go.
*Quick Time Skip*
I don't accept a snack when I come home. I go straight to my room and do homework. I don't have a lot. Just ela, my strongest subject, and art. Pretty simple.
I finish homework, and don't know what to do. I bring tissues upstairs from the living room and sit there. The voices arguing make me start crying.
Bold will be the bad voice.
Underlined text is the good voice.

"What makes you think that James will make Jaiden feel better? It'll only make it harder for everyone to make her happy again."
"Jaiden needs happiness. She can't just be sad. She didn't eat anything today. Only some olives. You realize she can.. um.. die r- ri- right?"
The positive voice dies away, taken over by the bad voice. What the bad voice says makes me devastated.
"You realize that you can't regret what happens. What happens is part of the past. The past does matter. Like the time when James moved. You deserved it. It makes up where you are now. If you follow my rules, you'll feel better. Now, eating is a disgrace to you. Eat as little as possible. Also, animating is never something you'll come to doing. Nobody ever said you had the talent to do it. Which means there's no way. Follow these rules and you'll be happy again. I can promise that."

I know that I have to follow the voice. I have no choice. So I follow it.
A/N
I'm really struggling to finish this book. There's a lot coming up, like idk.. a backstory? :o don't tell anyone. Tomorrow's chapter will be a repeat. Just something to say, I never had anorexia. That detail isn't a personal experience. Don't worry. However, some of these details are real and happened irl. Keep reading to find out what happens next!

Thanks for reading my hogwash,
Kelly <3