Love You More

Chapter 1: Callie

What are you supposed to feel on the last day before the rest of your life? Are you supposed to feeling some sense of eternal doom, and flood the neighborhood with my tears, or are you supposed to be calm, cool, and collected because you're entering this new phase of your existence?

I ponder this massive existential crisis as I step out of my steam-filled shower. I breathe in a rush of cold air, and goosebumps begin to prickle on my wet skin. I quickly wrap myself in my favorite turquoise fluffy towel and wipe the steam from the mirror with my hand to stare back at my reflection, turning my lips up at the corners for good measure.

My honey-colored hair hangs in wet strands past my bronzed chest, almost to my waist. Emerald green eyes showcase bags under them from the lack of sleep I got last night. I wipe a smudge of mascara from underneath my eye. When it refuses to budge, I sigh as I reach for my makeup remover. I glance in the mirror again, and notice that droplets of water are stuck to my long, dark lashes, and blink the water away.

Every time I look into the mirror, I'm reminded that with every day that my life grows and changes, so do I. Even though I'm only 18, I can notice that my features have already lost their youth. The freckles on my face are lighter and lesser every summer, my teeth are less straight from nights of forgetting to wear my retainer, and my hair has darkened considerably from when I was a white-haired little girl.

I grab my brush, and spray some de-tangler into my hair. As I tenderly run the brush through my hair, I notice that I really am beginning to resemble my mother with age. I'm beyond thrilled, because my mom looks absolutely unreal for being in her fifties. I better age gracefully, because both my mom and dad look and act like they're still in their twenties.

My blonde hair is the exact shade and texture as my mom's - thick and unruly, not quite straight, and not quite curly. Her parents are from Scotland, and I am really hoping I get the opportunity to study abroad there during one of my Spring semesters.

Finishing my routine, I grab lotion from the cabinet and begin to rub some onto my muscular outstretched leg. My year-long tan is thanks to my dad's side of the family. They're a little bit of everything - Italian, German, French, Welsh, you name it. They pride themselves on being mutts, and I enjoy being the physical manifestation in that. There's something immensely beautiful about coming from many different backgrounds and cultures.

My bedtime routine complete, I pad into my room and quickly take a look around. My entire life is in boxes, and tomorrow I'll leave my childhood room behind for a significantly smaller dorm room. Not to mention cafeterias with weird food, and showers with apparently horrifying water pressure. My heart squeezes at the thought. I'm truly a homebody, and I'm told that quality doesn't really bode well in college.

I slip on my favorite pair of black and grey flannel pajama pants and one of my boyfriend's worn, baggy football shirts. Turning towards the foot of my bed, I pick up my favorite stuffed animal, a soft brown teddy bear with a blue ribbon tied around his neck. It's losing its texture with age. I've had him since I was 4, and it's obvious he'll be accompanying me to college. If people say they don't have a favorite stuffed animal, they're absolutely, 400% lying.

"Well here we are, Mr. Cuddles. This is last time that we're going to sleep in this bed until Thanksgiving break. I wish I could take you with me to college, but I think I might get a bad reputation if I do."

A soft chuckle brings heat to my cheeks, because I was totally just caught talking to an inanimate object.

"Callie, I think you'll be fine if you bring Mr. Cuddles to school. You don't have to grow up so fast, you know"
"Jesus, mom! I had no idea that you were standing there" I mutter, more embarrassed than irritated.
A throaty voice chimes in, and my father appears beside my mom.
"Honey, your mother and I just wanted to say goodnight to our ONLY child before she grows up and exits our life forever. It seems like just yesterday you were our little girl, learning how to ride her bike, playing in her first field hockey game, going to your first prom...and now we'll only see you on holidays and when you need money like every other college student in America."

My dad is smirking, with his hand on his forehead, being the ever-dramatic personality that makes me love him so much. In true Paul Conti fashion, he takes a running sprint and dives onto my bed to tickle me just like I'm five years old again. Before long, my entire family is all in fits of laughter on my bed, even though we're all way too big for this.

I finally catch my breath and manage to choke out, "Guys, if you don't want me to die via a bed collapsing before I even start my collegiate career, then we should probably hop off."
"Nonsense." My dad replies, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

After hugging them, and exchanging many emotions without saying a word, my mom and dad exit my room reluctantly.

I lay back on my bed and softly yell "love you guys."
They don't hear me, and I know I have to get used to them not always being two doors down from me.

"Maybe I'll bring you after all. How does college sounds to you?"
Picking up Mr. Cuddles, I place him into an open box and stare into his black, lifeless eyes, but shockingly, he doesn't answer me.

I suck in a breath, flop onto my bed, and let sleep consume me.