I feel alone. Like I have no one that really cares. The people in school are nice. But none of them want to be my friend. Most of the day at school I'm alone and starring at my phone so I have some way of not looking to pathetic. People talk to me in class, but they kinda have to for a grade. These people used to be close to me. But now I'm ghosted. I left for awhile because of Suicide. For feeling I wasn't enough, that everyone wouldn't have to worry about me ruining their lives anymore. I'm just a bad distraction that no one wants to see. My boyfriend lives so far away from me and I can't drive yet to visit him. I miss him so much it hurts everyday. He was the only one who cared about me. He saw me at me worst and still loved me. But now I'm far away. Only being able to contact through phone because both our guardian won't let us meet up. I try to act happy but it's really hard. School is hard when you have no one. In the first time in a while, me and my grandmother got into a fight. After the fight I went to be alone in my room. I wanted to relapse. Not to kill myself, but to punish myself. Why must I cause everyone pain and annoyance. I feel like running away sometimes but then random people would be forced to search for me. I'd actually commit Suicide but then my family would have to pay for my funeral and etc. I don't know what to do. I wanna quit. But I know I'm not allowed to. I'm sorry I serve as a problem to everyone.
