Cigarette Smoke V.II // FILLIE

Natural Giveaway

m i l l i e

Within seconds the tense air around us settles within the confinements of the black lowrider, the bickering falling short and instead being replaced by the low hum of the engine and soft grind of the firm wheels against the pavement.

"Are you interested in Wyatt?"

His once accusing voice softens, this time coming out with patience and lightness I can't quite describe; like a lost boy hoping upon a single star.

"Why would I be interested in him?" I question, almost hurt that he'd honestly question my love for him.

"He's easier." Finn states flatly, in that same innocent tone.

"What do you mean 'easier'?" I push further, my eyes furrowing as I stare at the boy.

I study the freckled boy closely as his jaw clenches for the slightest fraction of a second, settling as he gently bites on the inside of his lower lip.

"He doesn't need help."

A sigh escapes my lips as I sit back in my seat, "It came out wrong, Finn. Just drop it."

"He doesn't though, does he? He's not sitting in the park, smoking alone, lifeless and dead in the eyes. Wyatt is alive, like you." Finn explains softly, with such care and sincerity in his voice that it almost sounds like a ghost.

"I don't want alive, Finn, I want you." I admit gently as he lets the challenger come to a stop at his command, shifting it into park, as we've reached the high school parking lot.

"You shouldn't." He advices, the low laziness returning in his throat as he shifts the key out of the ignition.

My hands instinctively go to hold the sculpted sides of his face, training his eyes to lock on mine, "Stop, stop trying to deny me for your own personal guilt. You're not going to die, so shut up about it."

"All I'm saying is maybe he isn't that bad, maybe 'fine' is good for you." He confesses lowly, his hands taking my own from his face as his eyes aimlessly wander over my fingers.

"Who's side are you on? Where's Mr. Possessive boyfriend that was here a minute ago?" I retort while swiftly climbing onto his lap, straddling the teen between my knees as my back rests on the steering wheel.

"So now I'm your boyfriend? That's new." The curly-haired raven answers with an amused smirk slowly growing on his lips, his eyes still drifting over my hands.

"Stop changing the subject, Finn." I direct while carefully sliding my hands onto his neck and out of his grasp.

"When I'm gone, I don't want you going into complete misery. Maybe his 'fine' can help you get back up when my death brings you down. Just like Noah said, you'll need someone to help you pick up the pieces." He explains, his hands comfortably resting on my thighs as his eyes stay focused on my own.

"Noah doesn't know shit, he's just dumb and in love." I remark, rolling my eyes doubtfully.

"Like you?" Finn retorts through an amused smirk.

"I-"

"Listen, Brit, he has a point. Noah could give you all the love you need when I strip my own away. He knows you. And if not Wyatt, maybe he could support you." He suggests, shrugging as the last sentence painfully rolls off his tongue.

"You know I won't want anyone but you, Finn. Which is why we have to fight so you can stay, not plan for when you're gone." I instate, pulling myself closer as I push away the dark curls from his mesmerizing eyes, still full of countless memories and complex thoughts as they have always been.