It wasn’t until the next night that Aleks heard footsteps in his apartment, while he was brushing his teeth. He was only half-surprised, as it was unlikely anyone but James managed to suddenly appear inside and cause the noise. He just didn’t expect the demon to ever come back, truthfully, not after what happened between them.
"So what’d you figure out?" He asked nonchalantly, leaving the bathroom and startling James (Aleks didn’t think that was possible). "Anything good?"
James looked at him, throat bobbing in a swallow, and then turned his gaze down to the floor. Aleks inhaled sharply, feeling himself heat up suddenly (at the way James looks just so— just human and earnest enough for him to feel compassionate and something deeper).
"I never wanted to be human. I hate everything they stand for, and I hate the thought that I was pretending to be one," James started, eyebrows furrowing in mild anger. "But there’s one thing that won’t stop fucking nagging at me. Something I can’t escape no matter how hard I try.”
Aleks made a face, crossing his arms and tilting his head slightly to the side. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to ask, but curiosity got the better of him. He took a deep breath to calm himself.
"And what would that be?"
James snapped into existence in front of him, and Aleks felt his blood run cold, the events of their last encounter playing out in his head. The bruises around his neck were just starting to fade.
To his surprise, James’ fingers lightly brushed his jaw, moving down to his throat. He frowned at the marks there, his expression of pure regret sending Aleks’ heart into a frenzy. This tenderness was unheard of, and he was both scared and—
and what?
"I don’t want to hurt you. Ever." James breathed, slowly removing his hand and stepping backwards, away from Aleks. "And that’s why, I…"
James’ eyes flashed red, spade-tipped tail flicking from side to side. He squared his shoulders, looking at Aleks dead-on.
"I’m abolishing our contract. I don’t need anything else from you, so I’ll be leaving for good."
"W-wait, just like that? You’re— wait a second!" Aleks, against his better judgement, rushed forward and grabbed James by the wrist as he turned away. Unflinching, James looked at him blankly.
"What the hell do you mean, you’re getting rid of it? Just like that? What does any of that have to do with hurting me?!"
"Because I can’t be responsible for hurting you," James answered lowly, "I can’t handle it. Isn’t that sad? I’m a fully-grown monster, but I’m getting too upset over how a human feels about me." He threw Aleks’ grip from him, hands rolling into fists. "I’m pathetic."
You’re lucky I like you so much
I like you a lot more than I thought I did
"James— you—"
"There’s a human concept that involves someone liking another so much, so much so that they would be willing to cause themselves harm for it. You’re likely very aware of it, Aleksandr."
"You love me." Aleks shook his head in disbelief. "After everything, all the threats and everything you’ve said…" He loves me, he loves me, his heart sang, but he was too angry to listen to it.
"I never expected it to get this far."
"So your intentions were always shit, weren’t they?" Aleks cried out, catching James by surprise. "But I got in the way. You had planned to hurt me— kill me this whole time, but you ended up feeling something for me instead. So you’re up and leaving me high and dry because of it, when for a moment I actually thought we could have, I don’t fucking know, been friends? Does that about fucking sum it up? Is that all you—"
He was cut off as James captured his mouth in his, lips pressing roughly together for several seconds. Aleks felt his heart pound in his chest, and panic briefly consumed him. I don’t— no— why do I—?
James pulled away, smiling sadly at him.
"Goodbye, Aleks."
"James, wait!" Aleks cried as the demon disappeared, hand reaching out for a being that was no longer there. His fingers began to shake, so he pulled his hand back and held it close to his chest.
"Fuck…" he choked out, sinking to his knees, clutching hard at his shirt and listening to his heartbeat spin out of control.
He should hate James, for everything he had done. For how he acted, wasted his time, caused him the worst annoyance he had ever felt, but he felt nothing but grief at his absence. As much of a pain as James was, Aleks didn’t want him to go.
He thinks he might be losing himself when he realizes that he, too, feels something he really shouldn’t, and to the worst possible person imaginable.
But he’ll never know, now.
