She felt a pain in her chest. The only pain that comes at night. The only pain that comes when she's alone, covered in blankets and staring at the roof. She felt lonely, and she could only make out the sound of her heart beating, beating louder than her thoughts, and disrupting her attempt at sleep. She had been lying there for what felt like hours upon hours. Just lying there thinking about how much she hated lying awake in the late hours of the evening and into the early hours of the morning. Her mind wandered from hope to hope, from dream to dream, from the light of day to the dark of night, where she lay and worry of what was to come next. She thought of all the days gone wrong, searching for something, anything gone right. Something with hope and joy to bring her out from the dark places of her mind.
Her chest ached as she moved under her tens of blankets sprawled across the bed. She pulled her knees to her chest, silently begging for a release, an antidote, something to take her from this agony. She breathed in as the tears welled in her eyes and let out a heavy sigh as they raced down her face and onto the sheets of her bed.
"Why me?...." she quietly asked herself. Slowly, she wiped her eyes dry with her shirtsleeves and opened them to look around the black room. Her hands made their way to her phone and unlocked it with the fingerprint scanner on the back. The time at the top of the painfully bright screen read 11:09 pm. She sighed once again, setting down her phone and pressing the power button. It had felt as though the whole night had gone by, when in reality, it had only been a couple hours.
She shut her eyes, though only for a moment to attempt at sleep once again. There was a knock on her door and the muffled voice from the other side said "Hey, its 7:15, time to get up
I wanna cry, I miss Douglas dearly. And I miss Noah, I miss them both. I just miss Douglas in a different way. But all in all, I miss both of their personalities being in my life. I'm just a better version of me around them.
