Soul Searching

Desperation

" I got to go. Take care"

Those are the last words she said to me. I've been sitting at this same spot for hours because I feel numb and I can't seem to be able to move a muscle.

My name is Lance and this is my story.

I'm an average guy. I leave with my parents who sent me to a decent school and provide me with my needs and some luxury. I have a little sister who we love so dearly.  I  have lots of friends at school, I have good grades and a girlfriend. Her name is Cassey. We've been together for three years now and I already imagine my self building my own family and growing old with her. My life is pretty perfect and normal. And then shit happens...

It was a fine day. I was about to get down on my knees and pop the question to Cassey. I've been keeping this ring i bought for her for days now . I said to my self it's now or never, this is the day to ask her to marry me. I want the entire school body to witness my proposal so during recces, while we are sitting at our lunch table I said to her " There's something I want to tell you" 

" I need to tell you something" Cassey said almost the same time with me.

" You go first..." I told her.

" Well, It's been three years that we are together and you know I love you right?"

" Yes, Of course."

" And I know you will understand me..."

"Okay.." I said anxiously

" We need to break up." She said without looking in to my eyes\

"W-w-w-hat? Cassey, this is not funny..."

"Lance, I'm serious. I've been thinking about this for weeks. I need this."

" Why? I thought we are happy, you were happy." I said with a shaking voice.

" I think we are getting too familiar with each other. There is no room for growth. You're too good for me."

" What's wrong with that? What do you want me to do?"

" Nothing. I don't thing this will still work. I'm moving on with my life and i suggest you do the same"

" I don't know what to say..."

" I'm really sorry. I got to go. Take care."

For the first time in my life, I can't feel anything. It's so hard to process what had just happened. My hand is in my pocket, still clinching the ring on my hand. I've been thing about settling down and starting my life with her while she is thinking about ending it. I need to get out of here, I need to go somewhere. 

I went out of the campus. I need to go to a place that is quiet and peaceful. Where i can be alone. I suddenly thought about my grandmother. She died 5 years back. She was my hero. She took care of me when I was a child. She is always there for me. So I went to the cemetery where she lay. Just the place I needed. I sat beside her grave and started talking and crying. 

" I'm sorry Grammy for bothering you. I just need let this out. I love her so much. I can't imagine life without her. I'm in so much pain. It really hurts." Then I cried some more.

I don't know how long I've been there and how long I've been crying. And then the wind started blowing hard that it's hurting my eye. While the sun is scorching hot the wind blew harder. I'm feeling a little weird then my sight got darker and I passed out. 

I was awaken by soft voices. I think they are two ladies whispering to each other.

" Is he dead?" 

" Why are you asking me? We saw him together. How would I possibly know?"

" Is he breathing?"

" For goodness' sake Bathilda, stop asking me because I also don't know.'

" It's such a waste if he's dead. He's a good looking boy."

They seem to be fighting in any minute so I got up to rest their case.

I wasn't prepared to what I saw. I don't know if I'm dreaming but how I wish I still was.