Coffee With Nel

"Do you like being an alien?" I asked.

Nel looked over at me with amusement behind the magazine. "I can ask you the same thing too, alien."

I let out some stale breath regathering my words. I swear I liked him better when he couldn't speak English.

The two of us were sitting at a coffee house at our usual spots. Nel in his faded love seat and mine the worn-down wooden chair that was donated by the local woodcrafter. Our drinks still had steam coming out of them. Letting it soar up and dance, waving at us, then intertwining at each other. The place filled with people as usual for the night crowd.

"Just answer the question," I grumbled taking a sip of my tea.

Nel laughed as his third hand grabbed his latte. "Well, I guess I'm happy being me if that's what you meant."

I narrowed my eyes at him while he took a sip. His creamy blue skin almost matched his chair. "Sure let's go with that."

"Then yes. I am happy being an alien. But what about you, Kyle? Are you happy being an alien?"

I can lie. "Yes."

"Liar."

"How the hell do you know?" I laughed.

Nel's fourth arm came out of his sweatshirt and pointed to the jagged holes on his rectangular face. "I can hear your heart racing as you're lying. Not to mention I can smell your adrenal glands making adrenaline so you can make a lie quickly."

"Really?"

"That and you are a horrible liar."

Of course. I growled some unintelligible words into my tea as I plotted out my next move. I could just call it a night and leave. But Nel lives with me so he'll keep following me wherever I go, asking until he gets his answers. That's how he became my roommates for the last three years.

"No." I sighed clenching my drink. "I'm not."

Nel put down his magazine and drink leaning over. His red eye staring. Studying. "Interesting. You're not happy being you even with being on your home planet and with your own race."

The fact this sparks his curiosity and not the gossip magazine I gave him to distract him means I have failed. Is it that obvious? I need to do better tomorrow. Next time it's reality tv shows.

"Yeah," I said. "Rub it in why don't you."

"Well no. I'm just curious. What would make you unhappy living on your own planet?"

A lot. "It's hard to explain."

It was Nel's turn to narrow his eye. "It's actually quite simple. You say the first thing that comes to you as you think about why you're not happy."

"So you were a psychiatrist before you came here?"

"No just when your kind can understand everything you feel by your scent it leaves the lack of hiding emotions. So there's no need in coding or cues on how you feel."

That actually sounds a lot easier. So much easier than painfully glancing up at people and looking at them in the eye. Trying to understand what they meant by one saying of words compared to another way of saying it. Running down all the possibilities that it could be. Or what they mean. All those hidden social cues and wiped away by scent. Leaving words to be used for talking about other things. Makes me wish I wasn't born on earth.

One word huh? There are thousands of words I can use. All at the same time as I rattle one after another explaining why I picked those words. But only one word. Well, there's only one that kept following me since I was born.

"Overwhelmed," I said softly.

Nel tucked his arms back in his sweatshirt. The curiosity dying slowly. "Why?"

"It's hard to understand people most of the time. Some days it's kinda easy to get a grasp on things. Then other days things are way too hard to understand and I just wanna shut down. If I don't have to talk then I don't have to worry about interacting with people."

Nel was looking at my hand. My right hand was turning a quarter over between my fingers. I forget to grab one of my Rubix cubes so the loose change that was anchoring my pockets had to do.

"That does explain a few things." Nel nodded. "Your kind thrives on communication. It keeps them alive longer than oxygen."

"For better or worse I guess." I shrugged. "Don't you guys strive for interaction?"

Nel gave me a flat smile. Not another lecture of your kind, please. "No, I just decided to crash my rental on your planet cause I wanted to see if I can ram through it."

"Really?"

"No. Even when you can communicate all emotions through scent it's still overwhelming. I tend to stay away from others because I would get overloaded from everything coming through my nose. And I would shut down myself."

"So you decided to go to earth to get away from the smells?" I fired back letting off my half-smile.

Nel's smile grew rounder opening the magazine again. "Well, you humans rely on a lot of scents to cover your natural body order so it helps. Some of the smells you've made are quite nice. Not to mention the coffee helps."

I laughed as we both took another swig of our drinks. I know there's a lot of people on earth that feel the same I do. With the same problems and the same anxiety when talking to people. I know there's a word for it. There are groups and people that help us with it. Helping us understand, giving advice, trying to make it easier than us. But it helps to hear that an alien from another system struggles with it too. It's assuring. That I'm not alone in the loud and confusing world.