Spring Day

Plan

I wake up to Hyunjin patting my arm. I look up at him sleepily.

 "It's time to get you ready for your appointment, baby." He says.

 I nod. I'm not in as much agony and pain as earlier, but I still wouldn't particularly enjoy much with this. He sits me up and changes my clothes. I just sit there like a limp noodle.

He picks me up and carries me out to the car. I play with the collar of his shirt as he walks. He quickly gets us to the hospital.

Once we get into the hospital and into the room, Hyunjin has to go sit in the waiting room. I'm left with just me and the doctor. 

 "And you say your vomiting and headaches are always the worst in the mornings?" She asks.

 "Yes." I nod while trying to focus on her instead of her and her twin sister with one voice.

 "What about your walking?" She asks.

 "I can't walk at all anymore." I shake my head.

 "Can you tell me what you did yesterday?"

 I try to think back, but I don't really get anything except for sleeping. "I don't know."

She writes that down, too and nods. "Uh-huh. Can you see very well?"

 I shake my head. She hums.

"I see two of everything, but it's all overlapping."

"If I hold up five fingers, how many do you count?"

 "Ten."

 "Okay, please get up. You're gonna take your CT Scan and we'll figure out exactly what's wrong with you. Okay?"

I bite my lip. "Can Hyunjin be in there with us? I really don't like it when he's not around." I ask. "And I can't walk."

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, but only the doctor and the ptient can be in there, I'm afraid." She says. "However, after the scan is over and you're back in here, he's welcome to come in." She smiles.

I look down and nod. She grabs a wheelchair from the closet across the hall and helps me into it. She wheels me to a scanning room.

"This will make you feel like you peed yourself, but that only actually happened maybe twice in the past five years." She sighs while helping me onto the table.

I lay there, staring up at the ceiling. She holds my arm and cleans it off. I look over to see what was going on. As soon as she holds a syringe up, I squeeze my eyes shut.

Soon, the CT Scan starts up and I slowly move through it. Sure enough, I think I might've peed myself.

It was over quickly and in about fifteen minutes, I was with Hyunjin. He held me tightly to his chest while I leaned against him.

"Jinnie, I'm scared." I mumble, tears falling from my eyes.

"Shh. It's gonna be okay." He hushes me with a kiss.

"But what if-"

"Shush, honey." He holds a finger to my lips.

"I can't stop. I might die, Jinnie. I don't want to die. I want to grow old. I wanna raise a family with you. I wanna enjoy the little things. Like if you're not holding a meeting and we can just have breakfast together. I want to not be scared, Jinnie. But I can't help it. I'm so scared."

 He starts crying a little bit, too. "First thing I'm gonna do when we get home, we'll have breakfast together. I promise. For Kkami, Jinnie, a-and Innie." He sniffles.

 "Are you scared, too?" I look up at him.

 He nods. "I'm so afraid... of... what might happen."

He kisses my forehead and ruffles my hair. I hold tightly onto his arm. The doctor comes back in and we quickly wipe our tears. She didn't look happy.

I bite my lip harshly. Hyunjin holds me close, still.

 "Well, your results are in." She sighs. "And I'm afraid that you are dying. You have a brain tumor."

 He gasps and I just sit there. I stare at her, tears rolling again. She sighs.

 "There's nothing we can really do aside for prolong the inevitable." She shrugs. "At this point, no treatment will give you about two days if you don't eat. If you eat normally, don't do the treatment, you may live a few weeks."

"How long do I get if I do the treatment?" I ask.

"Estimated... possibly seven months at most." She sighs and looks down. "I'm sorry."

Hyunjin nearly chokes on a supressed cry. "Excuse me for a moment. I, uhh, have to go to the bathroom." He gets up and leaves the room.

 I hold my face in my hands, trying not to make any noise. I finally look back up at her.

 "There's absolutely nothing? Nothing wlse you could possibly do?"

 She takes a deep breath. "It's been successfully done only once before, but we could try a brain transplant." She offers. "If you do live through it, you can continue to live like normal. If not, you'll die during the operation."

 I nod. "I'm gonna need to think about it for a little bit." I mumble.

 "I'll ask tomorrow. But I ordered a nurse to come down here with food for you. Is that okay?"

 "Yeah, it's fine." I look at the door.

 I look over at the door, hoping Hyunjin comes back through any second now. But he doesn't. He doesn't come back for about an hour.

His eyes were red and puffy, his hands were shaky, and his face was tear-stained. He comes and sits by me quietly as I'm eating.

 "Have you thought about what you want?" He asks solemnly.

I nod. "I think I want to do the treatment and then I would like to do a transplant." I answer. "But I wanna know what you think I should do."

"A brain transplant?"

"Mhmm."

"But, honey, you won't remember anything. Not who you are, not who... I... am. Nobody." He mumbles. "You'll have a stranger's memories. Are you really up for that?"

I swallow hard and nod. "I... Yes, I am." I hold his hand.

He kisses my forehead. "Then... I think you should. If you think you want to, then go for it. It's your best bet." He says.