“Mum!” I yelled with a broken voice whilst my dad was carrying me out of the room. The weird-looking machine beside her hospital bed made some weird noises and 2 nurses and a doctor came rushing to the room. I was 14 years old. I knew that when something like that happened, it wouldn’t have a happy ending. I was a mummy’s girl so I couldn’t bare to see my mum get hurt! My twin sister, on the other hand, was always hanging out with dad. She was in tears whereas I was in a panic attack.
“Zoe, stop pacing honey, she’ll be fine.” Dad said trying to calm me down. But I knew what was really going on. According to what the doctor said the other day, the rare disease she caught had a bad effect on her body, and she wasn’t going to stay with us for too long. I cried harder at the thought. Losing my mum at this age is like losing my best friend, my councilor.. my , mum.
“How are you remaining so calm, when you know that she’s in there probably dying as we speak?!” I yelled uncontrollably.
“Zoe, if you keep reacting like this it’ll be worse, you just have to think on the positive side of things.” Roxy, my sister said. I couldn’t believe she’s my twin! We don’t look alike too much, I mean I have wavy hair, she has straight hair, although our skin, hair and eye colors are the same. And our characters are totally different some say that we are opposites.
My mind kept being filled with questions which right now couldn’t be answered. Will she be ok? Will I lose her? What happens if she dies? … I stared at the blank, white wall, which seemed to be closing in. The room my family and I were in wasn’t really helping the mood. There were a couple of chairs here and there, white, dirty walls, a round table in the middle and a small reception at the corner close to the door.
Finally, the same doctor came out of the room. My dad, Roxy and I all rose and stepped in front of him. We all tried to study his expression but all we saw was a blank face. He looked at the ground and shook his head lightly.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “There was nothing else I could do.” With those words he walked back to my mum’s ward and Roxy crashed in for a hug. My dad seemed as if he was frozen. He didn’t move an inch. Roxy and I looked at each other and looked back at him. A tear slid down his cheek. We never saw dad cry, except for extreme cases, which of course we are experiencing right now. We moved closer to him and hugged him lightly. He squeezed us back hard but we didn’t mind. Roxy and dad remained in the room, but I couldn’t take it any longer. I crept into mum’s ward and saw a lifeless body lying on the uncomfortable bed. I walked closer, and closer till I was close enough to touch her silky dark hair. As my finger made contact with her hair I shivered. That’s it, I thought. She’s gone. Forever. I pulled the chair as close to the bed as I could. I took hold of her ice cold hand and stared at her. Her eyes were closed and I could remember how peaceful she seemed when she was asleep. This time it was different. Her skin was pale, eyes shut, body lifeless.
“She still looks beautiful.” It was Roxy.
“She always have and always will.” Dad’s voice was heard from behind us. “Can you girls give me a minute please?”
We both nodded and exited the room. Roxy remained in the waiting room and I decided to go for a walk. It was in mid February and it started to pour outside. I ran through the door and let the rain hit my skin.
“hey Zoe.” I heard a familiar voice. My best friend’s voice. Katrina’s voice. I turned around and ran in for a hug.
“I heard what happened babe.” She told me. “ I am soo sorry, but everything happens for a reason.”
“ And I think I already might know what the reason is.” I looked up at her confused expression, so I continued, “ With my mum being gone, I have no one to make proud of. Dad barely takes notice of me, he only cares about Roxy, and you can’t say that, that isn’t true.”
“But what about your friends and me?”
“What friends? I only have two true friends. You and Jake and besides you two have your own problems to take care of as well. I guess I have to raise myself from now on.” I looked down and Kat hugged me again.
“oh come on babe, don’t say that you have plenty of other friends as well. And besides you know I’ll always be right next to you when you need me.” She smiled at me and I smiled back.
Katrina was my best friend. I introduced her to the group I used to hang out with, but from that day onwards, they started treating her more as a friend then me. Of course I never complained to them. I just told Jake. He’s the guy I trust the most. We have been friends since pre-school and haven’t had one serious fight since then. We go everywhere together and I guess I have to say that I do hang out with him more than I do with Kat as she always wants to invite the others.
Katrina’s phone rang and she looked annoyingly at the it and pressed the green button.
“ Hey mum, ok I’ll soon be there, mum, calm down! I’ll be there in a few, I’m leaving right now.” And she cut the line.
“ Zoe, sorry but I gotta leave, it’s getting quite late. When you need call me.” She hugged me and ran her way to her house. I kept staring at the dark street. It stopped raining and I laid down on the lawn in front of the hospital.
Some hours later we went home. Dad went straight to bed and didn’t say a word to us. Roxy went to her room and shut the door and I went inside my own room. I tucked inside my bed but I couldn’t close an eye with the other. I turned from side to side but I couldn’t sleep. As I was slowly drifting to sleep I heard my phone ringing. I received a text. I sighed and went to check it but smiled right away when I saw the contact name: Jake ((: x. I opened the text and read.
“ Hey bestie, I’m not that tired and maybe I thought you needed a chat with someone? X . I hope I didn’t wake you though.” I smiled and texted back.
“Well, I was goin to sleep but I’m not that tired. Sure meet me at the corner in 5 mins x” I pressed reply and changed into some decent clothes.
“You’re late” he told me with a cheeky smile. Somehow his smile always made me feel a bit better.
“Whatever, not really in the mood to joke Jake.”
“I know, sorry, force of habit” He said with a worried expression. “how you feeling?”
“Well, miserable right now.”
“I know the feeling.” He looked at me and I remembered a few years ago when he lost his dad, those were the worst moments for him but at least now he knows exactly what I feel.
“ I’m sorry..” I said in a low voice.
“me too.”
“Errm, I know this might sound awkward, but please can you come to the funeral not tomorrow the day after with me? I’m going to need my best friend there.”
“of course count me in.” he smiled lightly at me and hugged me tightly. We chatted for a couple of hours and decided to head back in our separate ways. When I was back in bed I was soo tired and I fell asleep as soon as I made contact with the pillow.
*two days later*
These past days we’ve received a lot of flowers with cards which read “I am sorry for the loss.”, many phone calls and texts, it’s been crazy! The house is too quiet without mum but of course we have to live with it. Somehow I still felt her presence beside me. Today is the day of the funeral. Jake came over an hour before so that he could prepare at my house. He wore dark jeans and a black shirt and I wore the black dress my mum has chosen for me when we went shopping together last time. We left the house and met Roxy and my dad at the small church close to our home. Many people gathered around; some family members, friends and even some co-workers. My dad and I cried a bit during the ceremony. Seeing her tomb in the middle of the altar. It was just too much to handle. When the ceremony was over, people drove behind the black van to the cemetery where the tomb was buried. Some people wanted a last glance at my mum but I decided not to look as I wanted to remember her the way she always was.
