I can't exist within my own head. [[Matty Healy AU]]

// o n e //

"MUMMY!" Lana's voice squealed from her room, instantly waking me up and causing me to drag myself out of bed and wonder what the four-year old could want. 

"Lanaa." I mumbled sleepily back, walking over to her room and turning on the lights; instantly brightening the room up in the early hours of the morning. "What's the problem sweetie?" I asked her, already knowing what she would say. It was the same everynight, it was as if the question teased and daunted her.

"Where's daddy?" she would ask, her eyes bright but still sad emotions flowing through the poor four year old's eyes. They were bright, large and brown just like his; but somehow whenever she asked this question they turned sad and that just made me feel even more the guilter. I had to lie to her, it made her happier -- it gave her some kind of hope that she would meet her father.

"He's away, Lana. He'll be back soon, sweetie." I lied, biting my finger nails as she tapped the corners of the wall next to her, humming as I spoke. She smiled up at me, passing her hands out to me.

"Mummy, can we go see daddy today?" she asked, a huge smile breaking out onto her face. "Pretty-pretty pleaseee?" she pulled out her best doggy-eyes look, making me smile lightly.

"Maybe, Lana. Maybe." I sighed, picking her up and combing through her long wavy black locks. "You hungry baby?"

She smiled at me, a playful look plastered all over her face. "Lana hungry, mummy."