I was born about nineteen days after my Mom’s eighth birthday. I was my Mom’s very first born child. My Mom knew what her future looked like from then on and yet she wasn’t about to give up when it just began. The family I was just born into had no clue of what kind of problems walked in along with me. My future was set to be very different and to be taken as just one big journey for the right grasp on life.
As I got older something within me became stronger. My Mom noticed more and more that something odd was going on with me, but she couldn’t come to accept that I already started show alikeness to my Father. Eventually I started being really aggressive towards my mom and anybody else that was in my life at the time. Right then my Mom knew that I had something wrong with me and that it probably would be the start of a long rocky road.
After many years of going and talking to professionals, the list of things that I could have had was eliminated down to one final option. Come to find out I had Bipolar Disorder and knowing of what is wrong about was just the first step. The second step was to begin taking medication. This disorder that I just was diagnosed with will become a really big problem as I grew and as I truly started to experience the way of life. From then on my time was filled with hardly anything, but more and more therapy so that I could have even a chance of functioning in everyday life.
Over the next bunch of years my body wasn’t the only thing getting rather big, it also was my aggression. No matter what amount of time passed even if it was just a week later, the amount of time it took the aggression to settle got longer. In no time things got so bad where the family had to just start calling the cops on me because they thought it would be best in mind. As that plan became a helpful thing in their minds it wasn’t too long later that the mental facilities became a big part of the master plan to help me become a better person in their minds.
Eventually I got put onto probation for truancy from school (In which always was an action I took when feeling really aggressive. Later more trips to that same mental facility and tons of medicine changes along with more drama. This was a good plan to the adults then and even now.
(Beginning of 2011) I received my very first letter from my Father. The letter had arrived weeks earlier, but there was a huge chance of it making thing worst for me so my Mom waited. Once I actually was given to read, I began to feel something that I had never felt before and that was the void inside being filled in a little. That filled feeling didn’t last long at all because for some reason my body just couldn’t keep the good inside and it was replaced with even more aggression.
Towards the middle of 2011 my problems became too much for my Mom and she decided that I should move out immediately. That next morning my stuff and I moved to my grandma’s and grandpa’s house. As all this took place my aggression wasn’t the only thing that got stronger, it was hatred and depression. As for the good kind of emotions they got suppressed by my body (kind of like being locked up and the key just disappearing from existence. My heart then started to freeze over along with some bitterness and eventually became a bitter, frozen lump lodged in my chest today. I also began to lose all emotional attaches I had with anyone and everyone.
This story is now at the current time of my life. Today is September 11, 2012 and I am looking for somewhere to live because the part of family I live with and I have been evicted. I’m packing my stuff up and counting down the days until I’m officially being let free from the family. Even though I’m just being sent to another place nearby where they can supposedly be able to help when needed. A few more days and then I’m going to be living in another supposed “great place” but I know it won’t be any different. I’m just going to go and be miserable in a different setting.
“My aggression is rather strong, but when compared to my depression it is weak. “
“This is story is the summary of how I transformed into the current me and beginning chapter of the step in my life.”
