underneath the pine | trey songz [+18]

dreamchasers, i

After watching the tour from backstage most of the time, I decided to watch from the crowd tonight.

Even with all the high profile celebrities I've met, especially ones that I was a fan of before - there was still nothing like experiencing one of their concerts and sharing that moment with thousands.

The show was amazing, as usual. The energy was electric between all the musical guests and the crowd, especially with Chris and Trey.

Something about being close to home always brought more energy out of them.

It was cool how they played off their brotherly chemistry for the show. There was a part in the set I suggested, where they went back and forth in competition, performing their most popular songs and engaging the audience. Their response behind me was actually deafening tonight, making me smile in victory.

Once the show was over, everybody went to their respective dressing rooms to shower and get changed before heading out.

I decided I was in the mood for tonight's after hours event with the tour crew. And I actually managed to pull off the club girl look despite my usual rebellion and tomboy-ish clothes. All the way at the bottom of my suitcase was this black spaghetti strap dress I bought a long time ago and was saving to wear for Lon - I mean, Frank, for Valentine's Day, but...

I wanted to associate it with something else, so, tonight it was.

The dress was too tight to wear anything underneath, but thankfully it had built in bra cups to keep the girls up and make me a little less self-conscious about men gawking at my nipple rings pressing through all night.

My eye makeup was very soft, cool toned and balanced out perfectly with the drama of the plum lipstick and sleek ponytail I had opted with.

I felt prettier than I had in a long time.

We were currently on our way downtown to this club after party, promoting Trey's partnership with SX Liquors.

Tremaine was the type of guy my mom always warned me about.

Especially since he was not as subtle about his attraction to me as I was, despite all the other shit we had going on.

Sometimes it was hard to be subtle. If he looked at me a second too long I would feel an invisible hook behind my belly button, pulling me right to him even against my better judgement not to listen.

Closer. And closer.

He was comfortable to hang out with when he wasn't being a fuckboy. There was a couple of stolen kisses here or there, flirting, innocent touches and some not so innocent.

He never went too far.

And made me feel something , even after it felt like that part of me who wanted to be wanted had died off and would never come back. And that was nice. To feel, again.

But that's all it was.

Most of the time it was easy to be subtle or just act like nothing was happening, especially when I thought about what else I could lose pursuing him. I didn't want to date, period, especially anymore people in the music business. And with his on-and-off-but-mostly-on-but-off-for-the-moment girlfriend, Tanaya popping in and out of his life (along with many others)... I knew it would be short lived.

Nope.

I didn't need any more of that kind of drama in my life.

And tonight wasn't about that. I just wanted a little break from the norm.