Adopted By One Direction (Editing)

Its All My Fault

Recap: I opened the door without even knocking. In there was my therapist Mrs. Jennings.

"I'm ready to talk." I breathed in and out. Mrs. Jennings looked bewildered. "What do you mean by you want to talk honey?" She asks.

My past. I want to talk about my past."

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I sat in Mrs. Jennings office as she got Louis and some other doctors. My heart was racing. Why did I do this? I can't even think about my past or I'll throw up. Ugh! Why didn't I think this through? The door swung open to reveal Mrs. Jennings. "Hey we're going to meet in the conference room. Follow me hun." She says. I gotta say, I like British accents better than country accents. They're annoying.

I walked in to see Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn, Harry, my nurse Dr. Young, and four other doctors. No no no no no! I can't talk to this many people about my past. I sat in a chair between Mrs. Jennings and Louis. Louis squeezed my hand. He knew that I was nervous. Mrs. Jennings gave me squeeze on the shoulder. "Remember Snow, breathe in and out. Nobody going to judge you here, Kay." She stared into my eyes waiting for an answer. I nodded still no sure. Everybody was waiting for me to say something. I can't do this. I cannot do this. "I-I can't do this!" I put my face in my hands and sobbed. I felt Louis's hand touch my back and rubbed it. "C'mon Snow, this is the only way we can help you. Just tell us okay?" He says.

I shook my head. Louis looked stressed and furious. He ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Snow. If you don't tell us, we'll have to make you tell us and I'm sure to tell you, it won't be pretty. So tell us right now okay Snowflake?" His voice softens.

I nodded. "Okay, I'll talk. Only if Louis is the only person that hears it from me." I say. The doctors were unsure.

"Hun, you can tell us anything. You can tell us your past right in front of us and we won't tell anyone-" Mrs. Jennings says.

"NO! I WILL NOT TALK IF ALL OF YOU IDIOTS GET OUT OF HERE EXEPT LOUIS! I WILL TALK IF ITS ONLY JUST ME AND LOUIS! LOUIS CAN TELL YOU EVERYTHING WHEN IM DONE!!" I scream as I stood up from my chair. Zayn and Harry tried calming me down but I cuss at them. The doctors and nurses agree and they all leave me and Louis alone in the room.

Louis took my hand. "Snow I want you to know that I love you so much and I don't care about your past. I just want to help you." He explains. I nodded with my reassuring smile. I breathed in and out and started talking.

"I was six years old. And I hung out with my family just having a normal dinner with them and having a good conversation like we usually do." My hands are shaking and I'm stuttering.

I breathed in like Mrs. Jennings taught me. Louis gave me a stress ball that I'm allowed to use.(I know it's weird. But she's stressed so give her a break! Just kidding). "You're doing really good Snowflake. Just breathe in and out. Okay baby?" He calms me down. I couldn't help but grinned and nodded. "I-I had a twin brother named Caleb. We would do everything together. We would have our own secret hiding place that my mom and daddy never knew of. It was.... It..... It was near a creek and we...w-would spend time with each other there for as long as we were allowed to." I sniffed as I wiped my tears. "I had a little brother name Luke who was 4 years old. We found out that he had autism when he was three. Even though I didn't know what autism was at that time, I still loved him to death. I know now.

After we ate dinner. I-I really don't remember all the details,but I saw these men storming in with black clothes and guns screaming at us to go to a corner. W-we were all scared. I didn't know what was happening. Then this guy walks toward us and he had a suit on, and it seemed like they knew who he was because they gasped when they saw him." A tear streamed down my face and I sighed. Louis looked shocked and confused at the same time. "Do you know who the guys name is?"

"George. His name was George. I exactly remember it because my parents knew his name. And the thing that scared me the most was that my parents only pushed me back behind them and it was only me that they shielded. My parents asked him what he wanted. George said he wanted me. The e-exact w-words were,'you know what I want. I want your daughter.' And that made me panic. I didn't know why he wanted me and I still don't know why. But anyways. My dad said he can't have me, and George said that if he didn't get what he wanted, he'll kill my w-hole.....f.family. And then my dad said that he couldn't take me, and he couldn't kill my mom and my brothers but my dad said, 'kill me but not my wife and children.' George agreed and the guards pulled us away and without hesitation, George took a gun and murdered my daddy right in front of me. I screamed and screamed for my dad to come back. But the guards were holding on to me. Then George told the guards to kill my mother and my two brothers. I screamed as l-loud as I could and I watched my whole family die right in front of me while I lived. Before they take me, I kicked one of the guards in then crotch and ran to the police station. Right then and there,my life changed and this past will never leave me. I will never forget the day my family died for me. I should be dead Louis. I-I don't deserve to live after all of this. It was my fault that they died! It was my fault that Luke had to live only four years of his life. It's my fault that I am alive and they're not. If I were not born at all, they would probably be alive right now! It's all my fault Lou! It's all my fault!" I sobbed. I couldn't stop crying. Louis hugged me tight while he was sobbing quietly. Louis finally let go and took my chin. "Snow, it's not your fault okay? You never meant to kill your family. I love you so much okay?" I nodded. We stayed like this for a long time.

Now I know it wasn't my fault.