All me

What happened in Spanish class

Just to give you guys a little back story, I'm a South Indian 14 year old girl, in an elite academic program called I.B ( international baccalaureate). Which  just means I get extraordinary amounts of homework and a crap ton of test. A lot of people in this program are brilliant and literal geniuses. While I'm just a regular student who is barely surviving and is best friends with all the geniuses ( so this partly explains my low self esteem). I look like I could be ambiguous; even though my parents are both Indian. I commonly get confused with Hispanic, which is ironic because I suck at Spanish 😭. I have long wavy dark brown hair that every one things I dyed 🙄, but no sis it's just damaged. And I have a curvy figure ( like and hour glass) except I have hip dips and a long torso which I hate. I'm 5'5 and although that is a regular height but I'm taller than all my friends so I feel like a giant.  I'm have a million insecurities which I could write a whole book about and some would consider bizarre but it makes perfect sense to me. Oh and I'm obsessed with yellow 🌻🤪.
Back to the story, A couple days ago I had a traumatic experience and when I type this it's gonna sound so pathetic 🙄 I was in Spanish class and Elijah;the literal smartest kid in our program, was sitting right infront of me because his desk was turned toward me. We had this ongoing joke that his legs were really long and were always extended to my leg space, under my desk. It was all good fun; like I would kick him and we would just mess around untill he moved his leg up mine and he kept going, and for a brief second I froze because I didn't know what to do. We were in the middle of class and this is Elijah was the goofy genius that everyone loved and didn't have a perverted bone in his body was slowly moving his leg up mine. I had gotten back to my senses and I kicked him off, I didn't make a scene and I remained calm and poised and kept my legs very still at my side and he did the same. After this we kinda just shrugged it off as if It was nothing and continued with class but it bothered me and later that night I confided in Sarah; my newly coming "best friend"( you will understand why the quotations), while we were on FaceTime and gave me the worst reaction 😔 she began to say all the wrong things like "what Elijah ? Are you serious (as if I was Lying or something) Why would Elijah do that? No Elijah wouldn't do that?. And she looked at me like I was the liar. I asked her,"why would I lie?", and I felt so disappointed in her. From that point on I knew I couldn't talk to her about things that happened to me because she would never understand. See things like this happens to me all the time, and up untill this year she has never had to face any kind of drama with her friends or struggle with "depression"( she was sad for two weeks because her friends wouldn't talk to her about a problem she never addressed with them 🙄) or anything serious happening to her and I understand that. That's why she was shocked and didn't believe me because I know people aren't like they seem. They have alternate intentions and I delt with the subtle touching and groping and the creepy looks but she hasn't. She is the definition of a perfect white family, she lived in a perfect world and if I had just witnessed something like I would have trouble believing it too and that's ok. What I had a problem with is her taking his side over mine as if I was spewing straight lies and outrageous accusations. I understand why it's hard for assault victims to come forward for this exact reason; fear of being denied(not at all comparing myself to one of those incredible survivors). From now on I decided to keep things to myself because the only one I can trust is my self.