I don't love you.

Age 15

Dear Diary, February 22, 20xx
I grew up thinking I was ugly. My family was a mess so I never knew what love was, I tried asking.... but that didn't end well. Honestly this is the first time I've ever written my feelings. I met this boy named Samuel, he's very nice and very funny. I considered him as my bestfriend, that is until now! He asked me out and I said yes! He's so sweet and kind, I wish he could meet my parents, but they're just really over protective and would beat him up the minute I said he is my friend. Well diary I'll talk to you next week!
~💋

Dear Diary, March 1, 20xx
Today I had a date with Samuel, he was so gentleman like. He opened the car door for me, pulled out my chair when we went to a cafe. We went to go watch a scary movie and he held my hand when I asked him to. He's so sweet I think I'm in love. No I know I am in love! My parents have been arguing lately, they once said i was a mistake, but I mean they told me that since I was small so it doesn't affect me like it usually does. Oh! I almost forgot to ask Samuel what love was. Sigh I'll just ask him tomorrow. See you next week Diary!
~💋
Dear Diary, March 15, 20xx
Sorry it has been 2 weeks, my boyfriend (Samuel) tried kissing me today, I felt uncomfortable and I told him I wasn't ready. He aggressively kissed me... I accidentally bit his lip because I didn't like it. He got mad and left me alone, I've been crying because I know I did something wrong. He hasn't talked to me since then and I feel bad. Ah I'll just talk to him tomorrow. Life at home hasn't been exactly good either, Samuel doesn't know what I go through because what if he says the same things as my parents? Anyways I'm just going to go now. Bye diary talk to you next week!
~💋
*Real time, one year later. Age 16*
I walk inside Samuel's apartment with the extra key he gave me. I'm tired so I don't hear anything.
"Hey Sam! I just came to check up on you!" I say, I walk into his room and saw the most horrible thing in my life. He's... on top of a girl... naked....
"S-Sam?" I say quietly. He turns and looks at me, he gets up and puts his pants and shirt on
"H-Hey, it isn't what it looks like I swear-"
"How could you? Sam how, why? When did I every do shit for you to do this to me? Sam!" You said looking at your boyfriend.
"I... I just don't love you anymore alright!" Raising his voice he slammed his hand on the wall making you flinch.
"Don't yell at me! I didn't do anything to you? What is it that you don't love about me? Am i too skinny? Am i too fat? Am I ugly? Am I clingy? Tell me!"
no reply
"DAMN IT TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? ILL MAKE MYSELF BETTER I SWEAR! Please... just tell me..." you begged, sobbing hard.
"Don't make me seem like the bad guy! Sunny you're the problem! Everything about you is bad! I hate you, just get out of here!"
You looked at him, confused mostly. "I-I'm the problem?"
"Yes you're so damn annoying, you were just a bet for me anyways. Just leave"
"Alright then.. fuck you.. f u c k YOU!" You whipped your tears and left. Not looking back. You didn't care anymore. He didn't care, arguments like that always happened, every month. This time you grew so so tired. This time he cheated not giving you a reason. You gave up now this time. Nothing more was said, you moved out of your parents house, and didn't know what to do anymore.