échos du silence

ii.

We let go of our hands as soon as the truck stops . A black tinted window rolls down slowly . Lana approaches the truck and starts talking to someone .

"Goodnight there ." Lana says . I hear that particular charm in her voice . That's how she convinced people . That's how she convinced me years ago .

"Goodnight ." The voice replies . Lana steps back and I see a man with blond hair . He's not Asher for sure . Everyone here knows how Asher looks .

The man looks at us and he stops and stares in my eyes . I feel a sudden intimidation but I smile . He doesn't smile , instead , he looks away .

The back window goes down slowly and that's when I see him . It's really him . I've heard about him so much but never in a million years did I think I'd see him in person .

He's only a few feet away and he looks breathtaking . "Here's what you wanted sir ." Lana says with a smile .

Asher turns to look at us and I watch as he carefully scans the four of us . He slowly smiles as he looks from head to toe .

When he gets to me . He stops smiling . A little part of me dies . He quietly says something and Lana leans towards his window to speak to him .

"I want Mia and ....." His voice trails off . I stop breathing as he begins scanning again . I want him to pick Hayley and I so , so , so bad .

Mia grins from ear to ear and gets in the truck . Rollins is still staring at us and my heart is beating so fast and loud that I can hear it in my ear .

"I want the one in red and the one in white ." He says quietly . An excitement rushes through my veins as I smile . Hayley and I start walking when he speaks up .

"No , no , the other girl in white." My heart slowly crumples as I turn around and look at Kianna . She's also wearing white .

This is not how I wanted things to go . Lana must've seen my face because she speaks up . "Are you sure ?" I mean they're sisters and-"

"I . Want . The . Other . Girl ." He gives Lana a threatening look and Lana presses her lips together .

"Okay . Go ahead Kianna and Hayley . Get in ." Lana says . Hayley and Kianna walk to the truck . Hayley glances at me but I look away .

My eyesight turns blurry as my heart swells up . Asher looks at me one more time as he puts his window up .

"It's okay . Maybe next time ." Lana says to me . I cross my arms across my chest as the truck starts driving away .

"What did he say ?l I ask feeling the anger boiling in my blood . "Nothing he just-" she stops talking and I can tell she's hiding something . "What did he says ?" I ask again .

Lana doesn't respond and avoids eye contact . "What did he say ? Lana you're my friend , aren't you ? Why aren't you telling me ? Does he think I'm ugly ?"

"No . He just .... he said he liked other types of girls ." She quietly mumbles . "Other types of girls ? I don't understand . Im the type of girl that men like . That's why I thought of getting breast implants . But never did . And he still picks Hayley !"

I don't realize how angry I am until Lana makes a face . I suddenly feel extremely bad for saying her name offensively .

Hayley is beautiful and she doesn't need huge breasts to fascinate a man . "He did ask who you were ." She says .

"That doesn't help . He didn't pick me . He didn't ." All my self-esteem goes down the pipe . I felt pretty confident but now I feel worthless .

"It's okay , Julianna . I promised you I was going to help you and I will . Just give me time okay ? I promise you will get what you want ."

She gives me a sympathetic smile and I sigh looking at the floor . "How about you take the night off ? Come back tomorrow and I assure you I will find a way ."

Lana leans towards me , "I promise you and I will get it ." She gives my shoulder a light squeeze and I nod . "Okay . Thank you ."

She smiles and walks back in the club . I stand outside in the cold staring at my swollen feet . All of a sudden .... I feel really empty .

Why did I get into this ? Why ? My life is nothing but misery . It's painful living like this . It's painful when greediness and sadness controls your life .

A whistle makes me looks up . A man with blonde curly hair approached me . "Hey . Can I invite you a drink ?"

"No . Thank you ." I reply . He makes a surprised face . "Really ? Don't you work here ?" He points to the club and a deep embarrassment falls over me .

"What if I do ?" I ask . He raises his eyebrows and shrugs , "no , nothing wrong with that . I just thought since you worked here-"

"It'd be easy to get in my pants ?" I say interrupting him . He doesn't reply but the look on his face answers my question .

I turn around and he gets in front of me . "Wait . Wait , no . I didn't mean it like that . I just want to get to know you ." His blue eyes meet mine and I shake my head no .

"Come on . Just one drink ." He seems really convincing but I'm not in the mood right now . "No ."

He sighs and moves out of my way . "Okay ." I go by him and walk in . When I'm in , I head directly to the dressing room to change clothes and grab my bag .

After that I walk back outside to wait for a taxi to show up . With my luck it takes a while for a taxi to go by .

When I see one in the distance , I wave at it hoping it will stop . "Where to ?" He asks . "About twenty minutes from here . It's an apartment building ."

"You have to pay first ." The man says . I start digging in my bag when I see someone's hand . I look up and see the blonde haired guy handing the man a hundred dollar bill .

"You can keep the change ." He tells the driver . The guy looks at me and smiles . "Let that be an apology for while ago ."

I don't say anything and just get in the back seat of the taxi . As the taxi starts to move , I watch the guy looking at me through the window .