The One Where We All Survive (Akame Ga Kill Harem)

Chapter 3

3rd Person POV

[At the Night Raid hideout, some assassins are found lurking]

Najenda: Listen, everyone. Our home is being invaded. Protect it with your lives!

JP: On it, your highness!

Najenda: I'm never going to get used to that nickname.

JP: It will sink in.

[The whole group splits. Bulat tags with Tatsumi. Akame deals with her group. So do Mine and Sheele. JP is suddenly surrounded by men]

Mine: We need to help him!

JP: I got this, Princess! Okay. I enjoyed the song last chapter so let's do it again. Cue the music!

[Music to "Gaston" begins. An assassin walks over]

Assassin:

Gosh it disturbs to see you Assassin. In fact it usually does.

You get all the girls to like you, Asssasin. Just thinking about it kills my buzz.

There is no man in town who is reviled as you and hell they all wished you would die!

Though you proven quite tricky to kill...everyone is going to try!

JP/Assassin:

No one...

JP:

Slick as the JP.

No is quick like JP.

No one punches you in the dick like JP!

Because there is no man town half as...

[JP sees a knife an assassin has]

JP:

Nice knife. Perfect. Give it up man it's gone.

You can ask Akame, Mine, or Sheele. And they'll tell you who's team they prefer to be on!

Akame/Mine/Sheele: Yours.

[An assassin walks behind JP]

Akame: Watch out, JP!

JP:

No one's fun like JP.

[JP kills some men with his gun]

JP:

Shoots his gun like JP.

Akame:

Assassins should kill a ton like JP.

JP:

My kill count is really intimidating!

Assassin:

Hey kill that guy that JP!

Shoot off his balls!

Cut off his route!

Mine:

Hey, idiot should we help you out?

JP: I got this princess.

[Assassins sneak up on JP. JP pulls out his swords and starts fighting back]

Assassins:

If you died that be cool

so we could win the dead pool.

JP:

If Leone were here that would be really cool!

[Leone comes over and kills a few of the men]

Leone:

You're lucky I was passing through here!