This was me, coming in to my own.
Lying there, a sobbing wet mess. Thinking about how the world, little by little was just going to shit.
What was really keeping me from being happy. I had a kid, a roof over my head. A husband who worked.
But I couldn't stop thinking about all the death and destruction that was currently, almost constantly happening in the world, lately.
Like yeah, I may have a good day because I may have something material or my kid did something absolutely adorable.
But there are people constantly on their toes or running from something.
My mind spinning, I just felt on the brink of a nervous break down if I didn't try and confront these feelings, inside of me.
I had lots of friends but none, I could turn and talk to. It felt so urgent for me to get this off my chest, that all the world problems. I knew, I could solve them! But I felt for these people! No matter who they were, what their religion might be, I would have some sort of empathy for them. I would cry for the unknown death that was pointless. They deserved to live as much as the person who took their life.
Every new story of death just seemed to cause me more strife.
I had to calm down.
My depression, for years, it seemed to get better. Like it was always at a bay. Very close, but somehow far away.
No, I have to move pass this. I have to be strong, I had to fight through this. I know I'd have to guide my child, to have strong morals.
To never intentionally cause someone else hurt or harm. That was my role. No, we don't need to put people down, or be that bully/bad person. But to be who you want to be. Have compassion, show me that you can be completely open, and truly free. But it's not up to me how my kid might grow. I just hope to instill in him. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Don't let someone drain your energy for there five seconds of Fame. No, I need to protect my child from things like this.
No, face these things head on, choose calm instead of being one person who wants nothing more than to be disastrous. You can be better than this.
