Standing up for yourself can be really challenging if you're used to letting others have their way or you're a people pleaser. When you trim yourself down to suit everyone else, it's all too easy to whittle yourself away; learning to stand up for yourself is a way of ensuring other people respect you and don't try to push you around or manipulate you. Unlearning the old habits of self-effacement and gaining the confidence to stand up for yourself won't happen overnight, but the journey to improvement starts with the first step.
1. Have confidence. Developing a strong sense of self-confidence is the first step towards standing up for yourself. If you don't have any confidence or belief in yourself, how can you expect other people to?
It's easy for others to spot when someone is down on their luck and lacking in self-confidence -- which makes them an easy target. If you're confident, people will be less likely to tease you or identify you as weak.
Confidence has to come from within, so do whatever it takes to make you feel better about yourself. Learn a new skill, lose some weight, repeat positive affirmations daily -- nothing will change overnight, but your confidence will grow in time.
2. Set goals for yourself. Goals give you a sense of purpose and control over your own destiny, and they help you realize what you truly want. This is an essential part of standing up for yourself and preventing others from walking all over you.
Motivate yourself by setting an ambitious but achievable goal over the next few weeks, months or years of your life. It could be anything -- a promotion at work, a top grade in your next collage paper, or running a half-marathon -- as long as it's something that gives you a sense of self-worth.
When you finally achieve your goals, remember to take a moment to look back on how far you've come and appreciate how much you have achieved. Make a vow that you will never let yourself regress into the unfulfilled person you once were.
3. Develop a good attitude.Your attitude is everything -- it impacts how other people perceive you and even how you see yourself. Your attitude sets the tone of your voice, the quality of your thoughts, and is reflected in your facial expressions and body language.
Remember that attitude is infectious. If you're bubbly, happy, and bright about things, you'll encourage those around you to feel good about themselves and the world around them. If you're morose, pessimistic, and down about everything, you'll soon infect others with the same negativity.
We naturally prefer to be hanging around the person who makes us feel good about ourselves, and we're more inclined to listen and respond positively to someone who has a good attitude.
By the same token, we're more likely to dismiss a person who tries to play the shrinking violet, the victim, or the permanently oppressed. Make the choice to feel and have a positive attitude and you're on your way to standing up for yourself.
