Enough

Part 1

You've been together for six months. Long enough to know at least some of the little quirks and habits he has. So when he starts acting kind of fidgety on your date night, you know something is up.

You've secretly worried for over a month now, because he's just acting different. You've never been bothered when he glances at other girls because it's just how he is, and he's always been incredibly affectionate to you anyway. But tonight, he doesn't even want to hold hands, which scares you.

So after you've left the ice cream parlor and you're walking home together, you take the plunge. "Cronus?"

"Yeah, kitten?" He doesn't look at you.

"You, um... you seem kind of upset. Is something wrong?"

Cronus stops walking, hands in his pockets, and he turns to face you at last. He seems hesitant to speak at first, but you ask again, stating your concern, and he gives in. "Look, kitten... There's somethin' I need to tell you," he says.

You feel your heart sink a little, just from the tone of his voice.

"These last fewv months havwe been great, and you're a svwell person, but ah..." He pauses, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Those peculiar purple eyes that you've grown to love seem to glance side to side, up, or down- anywhere but your face.

"But what?"

"... It's not enough," he finally blurts. "I knowv I vwas really desperate to fill a quadrant, and you'vwe been amazing, but it's just not vwhat I need."
You bite your lip, feeling your heart stop for a moment. He's breaking up with you. Right here, right now. You want to cry, to scream, do something to show how much this is hurting you. But you can't. All you can do is stand there staring at him as he tries to explain without coming off as an asshole.

"You're really nice, kitten, and svweet, but I need more than this. I need somebody more..." He falters to a stop, unsure how to continue.

You do it for him. "More interesting," you finish. "Somebody smarter, prettier. Somebody better than me. I get it."

He winces. "That's pretty blunt, kitten."

"But true, right? That's what you wanted to say, but you were scared."

Cronus nods slowly. "I just don't vwant you to think I don't like you. I do, but not... like that."

A small, pained smile crosses your face. The amount of pain you're feeling is indescribable. It's like someone literally stabbed you in the heart and twisted the blade. No, not a blade, a spoon. Because you're pretty sure a blade would have just ended you by now instead of dragging this out. When you speak again, your voice is very quiet as you struggle to keep it from breaking.

"It's okay, Cronus," you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest as you look at the concrete. "I'm used to hearing that. I'm used to... not being enough for anybody. I can't be mad at you for this."

"Kitten..."

"No, Cronus, don't apologize. It's not your fault I can't be what you need. I'm the one who should apologize. All this time I thought everything was great, I couldn't even see that you needed more. And I just clung to you like an idiot. I'm sorry." You pause, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry I can't be what you need. I'm sorry I'm not enough. I never have been, and I should have realized it."

He looks away, chewing on the unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. It looks like he wants to say something but doesn't know how. Instead, he reaches out and lays a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, don't look so dowvn, kitten. Somebody out there vwill see howv great you are, and then you'll be happy too, okay?"

You move away from him. Even his touch is painful now. Still looking at the ground, you miss the tiny flicker of hurt on his face.

"So I guess... I'll see you around, eh? Good luck."