Follow You Home

Disclaimer: A small bit of smut so please steer clear if that's not your thing.
I hope you all enjoy reading this. 💜
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Follow You Home

AMELIA

I see him as soon as I step into the ER that morning. I see him and my heart stops. He is with a patient, calmly explaining something to the interns. He has a small smile on his face as he talks, but one look at him tells me everything I need to know. Owen is not okay. He looks sad and lost and that makes me feel guiltier than ever. He looks tired and wan, like he hasn't been getting much sleep. All I feel like doing is running up to him and taking him in my arms. No matter what has happened between us, no matter how much we fight, no matter how much we run, no matter how afraid I am, I love him with all my heart. Somehow despite everything that pushes us apart we always find our way back to each other. We are always drawn back together. I wonder suddenly if it will happen this time too.
My mind wanders to what happened at the conference... what I did. Was it a distraction? Was it a fear of facing what hurts? Was it just fun because I haven't been with someone in a long time? Was it a need for human contact? A touch? Just carnal desire? One thing I know is that it didn't mean anything. If there's any touch that matters, it's Owen's. It's the only one I want and yet oddly enough, it is the only one I run from. It's like I am afraid to be happy. Maybe because I'm afraid I will lose it all, it's easier to push it away and just pretend it doesn't exist. But it does. Owen exists and so does my happiness. For me they're both the same thing.

"Owen!" I call out, suddenly wanting him to look at me. He looks up at the sound of my voice and I see his face light up when he sees me. That makes me feel so much worse about what I have to tell him now.
"Hey" he says, coming up beside me and cutting off my train of thought. "When did you get back? How was the conference?"
"It was uhh... it was interesting" I say softly, caught off-guard and not meeting his eyes. "How's Leo?"
"He's fine. He's in daycare, you should go see him." He waits and I force myself to look at him. "He missed you."
And you? I want to ask. Did you miss me?
"Can I speak to you for a minute?" I say instead.
"Sure, what's up?"
I hesitate while I contemplate not telling him but then decide against it. Gossip travels faster than light in this place. He might as well hear it from me.
"I slept with Link" I blurt, the weight of it suddenly too much to bear.
"Wait, what?"
He looks shocked for a minute, then confused and then sad as the realization dawns on him. I watch the expressions flit across his face as I wonder what to do next. I wait to see if he will react and when he doesn't, I decide to speak again.
"Owen—"
"Why?" he asks, just as I start to speak.
"Because I... I don't know. I was in a weird place."
"San Diego?"
"In my head, Owen."
He nods, and I can almost see the thoughts swirling around in his head.
"What?"
"Nothing... just... how could you, Amelia?" he says, sounding hurt.
"We're broken up, Owen" I say, though my defence sounds hollow even to me.
"Yeah for like five minutes!" I hear the anger slowly creep into his voice. Anger that I know Owen uses only to cover up the hurt. "You have a son!"
"You have a son, Owen. And don't bring him into this."
He is silent for a moment as if unsure what to say next. "Why Link?" he says finally.
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his question.
"I mean, Link? Seriously? With his stupid goat face and chiseled Pinocchio chin!"
I almost smile at his words, but the urge to cry is far greater. "Owen—"
"I have to get back to work" he says, indicating the end of the conversation and walking away.
I blink back tears because I am suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of sadness that rushes through me. I wish he had told me he missed me. I wish he had asked me if I missed him, because I did. I missed him so much and I still do. I miss Owen and I miss my baby boy. I want to go home.
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OWEN

I don't know how I make it through the rest of the day. I do everything that is expected of me, moving through the motions in a daze. The pit is quiet today, no big traumas, and for that I am grateful. What Amelia told me this morning hurt me harder than it should have. I know she's right, we're broken up, but it's not because I wanted to be. Besides, broken up doesn't mean the same as fallen out of love. I love Amelia with every fibre of my being. I know I made mistakes, so many mistakes ever since the day I met her, but the one thing that stayed was that I never stopped loving her. I know it's upto her who she's with and what she does, she didn't even need to tell me, though I am grateful that she did. But every time I think of her with... with Link, I feel my blood boil. I feel rage. I feel pain. I feel a burning jealousy like I have never felt before. I laugh bitterly, thinking about how Amelia said I was jealous of Tom because of Teddy. If only she could see inside my head now, she'd know what jealousy really looks like. Link is younger than me, his stupid face, admittedly more handsome and he is not marred by years of trauma as far as I know. But most of all, he's there for Amelia when she believes I'm not.
I grab my jacket from the attendings' lounge, sighing as I make my way towards the daycare centre to pick up Leo. As I step out I see Link, standing at the nurses station with Nico, giving instructions to an eagerly attentive intern. He has a broad smile on his face, one that seems to taunt me, even though if I think reasonably is not directed at me at all. But I am too upset to see reason now. I feel my fists clench as I advance towards him without thinking. I am going to wipe that smug smile off his face, I decide. Before I know it, my clenched fist comes into contact with his face in full force. I hear gasps and shrieks and I register a small crowd gathering around us in an instant.
"Hunt what the hell!" Link gasps, too stunned by the blow to say more. He straightens up, just as Alex rushes to hold me back from laying another punch. "Hey back off, Hunt. Step away now" Alex commands. I feel my blood boil and it's a good thing Alex is holding me back otherwise I would have punched Link right to the ground. I don't even care about the consequences. But then I think of my little boy waiting for me in daycare. I can't let my rage jeopardise his adoption. Leo needs me and I have a baby girl on the way. I have to be a good father to my kids and this is no way to do it. I want to hit Link again but I know it will be asking for trouble and so I do the only thing I can think of.
"That's for sleeping with my wife!" I yell at him, before shoving Alex's arms off me and walking away.
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AMELIA

"Owen!" I hear myself scream, stunned at the scene unfolding before me. I am on my way to daycare to see Leo when I see Owen hit Link. My first instinct is to rush over to him and stop him, but I don't. In a flurry, everyone rushes to hold them apart but I remain frozen to the spot. I know I should intervene... say something... I know I should talk to Owen or yell at him. Remind him that we're still broken up. But I don't. Everything happening in front of me is suddenly a blur or like a silent movie playing in slow motion before my eyes. I feel dazed, like I am watching things happen from inside a bubble. I see everything but hear nothing. Only one word reverberates in my thoughts.
Wife.
He called me his wife.
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OWEN

I sit on the couch, aimlessly flipping through the channels on the muted tv. Leo is asleep in the nursery and the house is filled with an interminable silence that is hard to ignore. My mind is on Amelia, more specifically on Amelia and Link together. I can't get it out of my mind, the way he must have touched her. I clench my fists and grit my teeth as my mind fills with the thought of how his fingers must have run down her soft skin how his lips must have pressed against hers. How she must have moaned and writhed beneath his body. How dare he? How dare anyone touch Amelia! I shut my eyes trying to block out the image but it only makes it worse. I wish I could punch him again. It had been so satisfying to feel my fist strike his face. I wish--
The insistent ringing of the doorbell brings me out of my thoughts with a snap. I rush to open the door.
"Hey" she says, standing outside. She is a sight for sore eyes, is Amelia. Half my tension melts away just looking at her.
"Hi" I say, moving aside to let her in and then shut the door behind her.
"You're crying?" she asks, her voice dripping with concern.
I look confused at her question and I lift my hand to touch my face. It is wet. I have been crying and I haven't even realized it.
"I... I don't—"
"Owen, it meant nothing—" she starts to say but I am overpowered by an insane need to feel her close to me again. I cannot wait another second.
I cut her off and press my lips to hers without warning. I feel her respond immediately and so I push her up against the door, my lips not breaking contact even for a moment. I kiss her deeply, hungrily, not wanting to let go and she kisses me back with a hunger that mirrors mine. I feel her hands slide under my t-shirt and I take that as my cue. I trail my hands lower, my fingers undoing the buttons of her shirt. I give her breasts a squeeze through the fabric and she gasps against my lips. I pull away from her and she whimpers, grabbing at my t-shirt to pull me back. I look up into her eyes to make sure she is okay with what we have just started and she nods. That's all I need to know.
"Owen, I'm so sorry—"
"Stop talking."
I pull her back into my arms, shutting her up with a kiss. I carry her to the bed... our bed, thankful to have her in my arms again. I peel off her clothes and then discard mine on the floor as well before climbing over her, careful to balance my weight on my arms. It has been way too long and I move slowly, teasing, trailing, touching.... I want to savour every moment but it seems like Amelia has other plans. She reaches down and takes me into her hands, making me groan. If she keeps that up, I will be done before we even start.
"Amelia..." I groan again, louder this time.
"Owen please" she begs, the desperation evident in her voice. I am more than eager to comply. I enter her without further delay and she moans, calling out my name and urging me to go faster. And so I do. I go faster, my thrusts keeping time with her moans until we come undone together in each other's arms.
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AMELIA

I rest my head on Owen's chest, in post sex bliss, feeling warm and cosy like I haven't felt in days. I smile to myself as I feel his fingers playing with my hair.
"Amelia?"
"Mm?" I respond, too comfortable to move.
"Why did you change your hair?" His voice is soft, almost wistful.
"I just wanted a change."
"Oh."
He is silent for a few minutes and I wait, sensing that he has more to say.
"Amelia?" he says again, just like I knew he would.
"Mm?"
"I miss you." His voice is soft and I know he is not talking about my hair.
"I'm right here, Owen."
"I know."
I lift myself off his chest then, only enough to face him and I feel his arms tighten around me.
"I'm sorry, O" I say, "I was scared."
"I know" he replies quietly, "I'm sorry too."
I kiss him softly and then lay my head back on his chest. I snuggle up closer to him and inhale his soothing Owen smell. The rise and fall of his chest lulls me to sleep and I am almost asleep when all of a sudden I remember something I wanted to ask him. He had called me his wife. I sit up quickly and open my mouth to speak when I notice his closed eyes and peaceful face. He is already asleep, his breathing even and his face content, devoid of any of the tiredness and sadness I had seen earlier that day. I smile to myself and lay back against him once more. I recall something I was thinking of this morning. Was it really just this morning?
Here we are, Owen and I, drawn back together again. For some reason the universe loves us together... despite all our flaws or maybe because of them. For some reason we always find our way back to each other. Maybe it is because two damaged souls need to always find each other. Maybe it is that two broken hearts need each other to feel whole again. Maybe it is that two lost and weary travelers always need a place to call home.
"I love you," I whisper, emboldened by the darkness and his peaceful slumber. It is something I have never dared to say to him before. Even now, I only say it comforted by the knowledge that he cannot hear me. Maybe someday I will be ready to say the words to him. Until then I will have to show him in other ways... he will have to learn to recognise it in other ways. In the way I hug him and hold him and kiss him. In the way my eyes always search for him in a crowded room. In the way I agree with him even when I don't. In the way I love our son. In the way I stay even when I am afraid.
And in the way I always, always, follow him home.

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