Grandpa

Part III

Once the whole hospital scenario was done, you would think the drama is over. Well if you did, you were mistaken. Now, we had to organize the funeral. Luckily they could do a lot of that through the phone, or at least that’s what it looked like. During this time, the family was always together. I lived at my grandma’s house for like a year after my grandpa passed away.

            Anyways getting back to what I was saying about the funeral. I do not reminisce much of it. I remember greeting complete strangers and sitting on my grandma’s lap during mass, she was crying. I remember her tears, her face, the pain it caused me. It was like stabbing of a knife on my chest over and over. I could not bare it, it hurt too much, I wanted to cry but the tears would not come down. After all the pain, I felt nothing for a while, I never cried, well I cried, years after his death, when I was sure everyone was ok.

            After the funeral we had to bury him. I recall it was raining. It was pouring actually. I remember everyone in black and everyone crying. I have an image of my older cousin Chris telling me I had to be with my dad, that he needed me. I didnt know why exactly, he seemed fine. Of course when I grew up I understood why.

            Now I think back and I’m staring to realize why Chris means so much to me, yeah he is my cousin but he is so much more than that. He was there all day that day. He made sure I was not alone and he made sure I was always laughing. I love Chris, he is like a brother, even though I do not see him as much as I use to.

            After we buried my grandpa we got back to my grandma’s house and went to bed. I could not sleep, so I woke up and went into my grandma’s room. She was not there. I searched around the house and found her on the living room couch crying her eyes out, talking to my aunt and mother. I wanted to go hug her but they did not let me. They stopped me. My mom just took me back to bed and made sure I fell asleep. The next morning we all had breakfast as a family. Without the man who made every and each one of us who we are today.

             As I looked around the table I realized that was wrong. He was not gone, he was here, in all of us. He is in our memories, in our hearts and in the way we are. After all, if it was not for him we would not be here, we would not be … ONE.  That is what he taught us. He told us to work hard, never give up and that family is number one. If you are not living for yourself and your family, then… what are you doing with your life?

            Together, we are stronger.