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Uncried Tears and forced back Screams

I was never able to breath properly, like there was always something stuck in my throat: a thousand tears bit-back, tears I was unable to cry. I have been told my whole life that I am talentless, stupid, and ugly. I can't feel anymore, but when I am able to I will break, and all of the tears and screams will explode and rip themselves from my heart and from my throat. The walls in my mind will fall and my emotions will take me back to every horrible memory I have and remind me of all the pain I was never able to feel. I will go insane from the pain and my red wrists wills spill over the waters edge of life and I will die. This life I live will be the end of me.